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Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me.” The Texan lady commented, “Well, isn’t that nice?” The lady from Mississippi continued,…

“I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.” – George Bush, former U.S. President “It is white.” – George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London “If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.” –…

51. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos. 52. The numbers “172″ can be found on the back of the US 5 dollar bill, in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial. 53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That’s more than sharks. 54. Half of all bank robberies take…

Hawt het hlle ma i redanig?

Q: Why are scissors such good dancers? A: Because of their sharp moves.

At the end of the last volleyball season, the main results table had been destroyed. Luckily, a number of people could remember the following snippets: Arlington Wonderers finished above The Golf GTI and Derby Surefires. Eagle Cherrys finished above Arlington Wonderers, The Golf GTI and Derby Surefires. Happy Hours finished above Brookside Magic and Eagle…

A golfer, encountering a genie, was granted one wish. The man thought a while and said, “Well, I’ve always been embarrassed by being rather small, if you know what I mean; could you make me larger?” “Done,” said the genie and disappeared. Continuing his game, the man noticed an immediate change in his “size.” Within…

The molbos have a long way to the forest so they must rise early to collect wood. One morning some of them drove to the forest to bring home a tree they had bought. But on the way the one who drove first happened to lose his axe, and when the others saw that, they…

1970: Wore long hair 2001: Longing for hair 1970: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high. 2001: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high yield mutual fund. 1970: Finding a friend to split the price of a keg. 2001: Finding a friend to take me to have an EKG. 1970: Sitting through sessions of Acid…

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? A. The French Army.

On my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a…

As a gift for Christmas, a wealthy family gives its children seventeen computer games. The youngest child gets one ninth of the games, the middle child gets one third of the games and the oldest child gets one half of the games. How are the games divided up, remembering you cannot have part of a…