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Uh huh … extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh … save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just to check it out Nineteen extra larges What a shame No one came Just us eatin’ all alone You said, Take the pizza home No sense lettin’ all this go to waste…

Three friends sat down in the new cafe’ in town. They began to have casual conversation, and eventually jokes were brought up. One of them said, “Oh, did you hear the joke about the guy in hell drinking coffee and eating a doughnut?” Before anyone could answer, though, the man across the room told the…

“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her room-mate. “Terrible!” the room-mate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.” “Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What’s so bad about that?” “He was the original owner!”

Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.

VEB Sachsenring brought out a new Eco-Trabi: Immediately available for delivery, extremely cheap, extremely quiet, extremely environmentally friendly – with electric power train. Small problem: The extension cord is only 20 meters long and not in stock.

Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, “Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine.” Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight member said, “I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently.” “Hmm?”…

Bees can’t sting… The woman you like at work said yes… An Irishman walked out of a bar… I met a blonde with a brain… Kids are nice… Is there a Weed League?… Farts and flowers in the same sentence… I like Bill Gates… Lawyers have integrity… The lightbulb finally went on in Al Gore’s…

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila. Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help…

If the population of China walked past you, in a single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at a red light. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

This is an addition to one of my previous jokes, “Viola Jokes” http://wocka.com/17112.html. Now, instead of just viola jokes, here are several different instrument jokes. PIANO JOKES Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor. Q: What do you get when you drop a piano…

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, “Whoa, I’m way too high!” – Bruce Baum Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives. – Sue Murphy When…

Jack = 11 in cards.