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80 The first Secretary General of the UNO was Trygve Lie 81 The sculptor of the statue of Liberty was Federick Auguste bartholdi 82 The port of Banku is situated in Azerbaijan 83 John F.Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harry Oswald 84 The largest river in France is Loire 85 The Queen of England who…

So this kid has been using lots of his dad’s money and the dad says, “Do you think money grows on trees?” “Ya,” says the kid. “Well, it doesn’t,” says the dad. “So what is money made out of, Dad?” “Paper,” the dad says. “And what is paper made out of?” “Shut up.”

Why are golf balls small and white? Because if they were big and grey they would be elephants.

Cat Lover or not, this is hysterical! We’ve all had trouble with our animals, but I don’t think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I’m lying. On one recent occasion, I had a…

The United Airline’s passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that…

10. Conversations often begin with “Put the gun down, and then we can talk.” 9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial. 8. The cat is on Valium. 7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth. 6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to…

A bag of Cheetos has a contest. It says “No Purchase neccesary” but the code is on the inside…

Our eyes are always the same from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. Rubber Bands last longer when refrigerated. “Lollipop” is the longest word typed with only the right hand. The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

How many moves, at least, are required to stalemate in chess? Nineteen moves. 1.h4 h5 2.c4 a5 3.Qa4 Ra6 4.Qxa5 Rah6 5.Qxc7 f6 6.Qxd7+ Kf7 7.Qxb7 Qd3 8.Qxb8 Qh7 9.Qxc8 Kg6 10.Qe6

“Apparatus” is a fancy word for thingy.

An Irishman, a Scotsman, and an American walk into a bar. The beginning of a cheesy joke? You betcha.

As of 11-23-09, my score was 1337. How the hell that happened beats me. I thought I was a crappy joke writer. This is boring isn’t it? Thought so. At least it’s not a dupe. Or is it… Nope, it’s not. Boring as hell, right? Thought so.