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Cartoon Laws of Physics Cartoon Law I Any joke suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per…

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up…

FLATTERY – What your kid does when they want something. EAT VEGETABLES – What your kid does when they want dessert. Usually. BEG, CRY, or WHINE – What your kid does when they want something you don’t want to give them. CALL – What your kid does when they get a good grade. “FORGET” TO…

Why couldn’t G-Unit take the bus? They only had 50 cent!

“Well,” snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. “I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave.” “Not me, Chief!” the Seaman replied. “Once I get out of the Navy, I’m never going to stand…

3.6 = coulombs in a milliampere-hour.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law…

Alabama: It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California: Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water. Nebraska: A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a…

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. The man asks, “Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?” The nurse explains, “The hot chocolate will help him…

Said the pig to his pop, “There’s the candy shop. Oh, please Let’s go inside.” “And I promise I won’t make a kid of myself if you give me a people-back ride.”

Q: What do you call people who use condoms? A: Parents.

A 100 year old man sits on the edge of his bed on the day of his 100th birthday. He looks down at his feet and says “well feet, you’re 100 years old today!” He then looks at his hands and says, “well hands, you are 100 years old today.” He goes into the bathroom,…