others

This issue has been on my mind a lot lately. The lives of the innocent destroyed for the belief that they are mistakes. Many say that they’re inadequate and that they deserve to be sent away. I’m sure they have feelings, too, though! Sometimes I can’t eat or sleep because I think about them so…

George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart: “Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she’s behind bars. O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her fanny…

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a fat man are all going skydiving. When they get to jump the Englishman shouts, “God save England!” The Scotsman shouts, “God save Scotland!” The Irishman shouts, “God save Ireland!” Then the fat man jumps and shouts, “God save whoever I land on!”

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day, when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum,…

Proof That Santa Doesn’t Exist – For Nerds! There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to…

If someone leads but no one follows… are they just out for a walk? Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would you treat them? Crime doesn’t pay… does that mean my job is a crime? Why is it that normal people are the ones you don’t know?…

What is the similarity between girls and tea? They are both hot and with milk. What is the difference between a girl in church and a girl in the bathroom? The girl in church has a soul full with hope and the girl in the bathroom has a hole full with soap. What is the…

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his joke. It fitted under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.…

# During World War II, twice as many fighter pilots were killed during training than combat # In 1962 an outbreak of contagious laughter in Tanganyika lasted for six months and caused schools to be closed # A nautical mile measures 6,080 feet while a land or statute mile is 5,280 feet # No one…

Why are they called old sayings? Are they really old? If someone came up with a new one, would it be a new saying? “A penny saved is a penny earned.” Who cares about a penny? A more appropriate version would be, “A penny saved is absolutely worthless. Try a quarter next time.” “An apple…

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the joke away, Charlie says, “Someone should go and tell his wife.” Bill says, “OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.” 2 hours later, he comes…

A man noted for his tact was awakened one morning at four o’clock by his ringing telephone. “Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake,” said an irate voice. The man thanked his caller and politely asked his name before hanging up. The next morning at four o’clock, he called his neighbour back. “Sir,” he…