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Did you get any under the tree? I think your balls are hanging too low. Check out Rudolph’s honker! Santa’s sack is really bulging. Lift up the skirt so I can get a whiff. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake? I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy. From here…

An American. an Englishman and a Chinese man were all taking part in a quiz contest. One question asked them was to fill in a blank in a song title and then spell the word. The song title was ‘Old Macdonald had a —-‘. The American was first to answer – he said ‘ranch’, spelt…

Angie and John were in court after deciding their divorce when the problem of ‘who gets to keep the kid’ started to arise. Angie exclaimed that the child was hers since she could take care of the kid better than her ‘wretched’ husband. But the judge wanted to hear John’s reason of why he should…

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods… On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.…

This Is A True Senior’s Moment: An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it…

I was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn’t know how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an idea…. He turned to the crowd…

When you look up Yahoo! Answers on Yahoo! search, it tells you it’s deleted according to community guidelines. When you look it up on Google Search, it’s restored according to Google Cache’s workings.

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO…

Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offense. “You can take your choice, private – one month’s restriction or twenty days’ pay,” said the officer. “All right, sir,” said the bright soldier, “I’ll take the money.”

Old world charm – Room with no TV, radio and only 1 light. Tropical – Rainy. Majestic setting – A long way from town, at end of dirt road. Options galore – Nothing is included in the price. Secluded hideaway – Directions to locate unclear. Some budget rooms – Sorry, already occupied. Explore on your…

Have you ever wondered….. Why Most homes have lots of windows in the house, how ever, more than half of them are usually covered up with blinds so people can’t see you. If blind people can still see kindness in a person. Would they still have the same motto ” No Shirt, No pants, No…

for all of you with any money left ……… In the wake of the Exxon/Mobile deal and the AOL/Time Warner implode, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2004: 1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay…