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When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One small step for man, one giant leap for man kind” statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he reentered the lander, however, he made…

Almost two hours into the Clemens and McNamee hearing, some interesting quotes can be found. (Credits to Yahoo! sport, and ‘Duk) • “Mr. Clemens bled through his designer pants.” • “Mr. Clemens, do you recall any bleeding through your pants in 2001?” • “Those little band-aids for his butt, if it bled.” • “Mr. Clemens,…

The Officer says, “I clocked you at 80 mph, sir.” The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating.” Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says sweetly, “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.” As the officer…

Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with two black sheep under each arm? A: A pimp

An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere in Nevada when his car breaks down. He examines it and finds that a technician must be called, but the chief has only $4 and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: “Hey, send somejoke to…

What amimal walks with its feet on its head? a flea.

What was the witches favorite subject in school? SPELLing

There was once a beautiful woman named Rebecca who lived with 3 men: an author, an artist, and a blind man.They each visited her once a day. One day Rebecca was taking a shower when she heard a knock at the door, so she put on a towel and answered the door. It turned out…

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn’t suck his mother’s breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle. According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday. Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with…

Remember, whenever someone says that you’re nojoke, remember nojoke’s perfect.

Question: If the world was a jacket where would the people from the ghetto go? Answer:In da Hood!

Mr. Bean: (crying) “The doctor called, Mom’s dead.” Friend: “Condolence, my friend.” After receiving a phone call, Mr. Bean cries even louder. Friend: “What now?” Mr. Bean: “My sister just called, her mom died too!”