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Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking…

A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?” She paused a moment and looked around the room. “I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?” From the back of the room came a voice, “He’d be…

1.dumb guy: I have’nt slept all nite on the train. Friend: Why? Dumb guy: Got upper berth. Friend: Why did’nt you exchange? Dumb guy: oye, there was nojoke to exchange with in the lower berth. 2. A Teacher lecturing on population – In India, every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A…

What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”. Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol. The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris’ age is to cut him in half and count…

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet street he chose happened to be one…

It’s a dog eat dog world out there. And they’re short on napkins. Married people don’t live longer than single people. It just seems longer.

…relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest. …you can achieve a “Runners High” by sitting up. …you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. …the Sun is too loud. …trees begin chasing you. …you can…

I was talking to my sister’s boyfriend one day and I asked him if prettyful was a word. He said, “Well, I use it a lot. Whenever I’ve just eaten and someone asks me if I’m hungry, I say ‘I’m pretty full.”

The average human produces about 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime. Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia. Americans spend more than $630 million a year on golf balls. You must play ping-pong for 12 hours to lose a pound. The life span of a taste bud…

This is a certified true story. One of the instructors at the local training centre decided to try to pull the leg of one the labourers who worked there. He told the lad, who lived in a little fishing port about 12 miles away, that there was a job coming available soon in his home…

Woman tells man: :”I demand good manners in bed just like at the dinner table.” So man gets into bed slowly, smiles & says: “Honey, would u please pass me the vagina?”

What was the female math book that lived underwater wearing? An algae-bra