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16 Ways of Knowing You’re in the Desert You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. You can say 110 degrees without fainting. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. You can make instant sun tea. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below…

Two farmers were boasting about the strongest wind they’d ever experienced. “Out here in California,” said one, “I’ve seen the fiercest wind in my life. You know those giant redwoods trees? Well the wind got so strong it bent them right over.” “That’s nothing,” said the farmer from Iowa. “Back on my farm we had…

If we had a president that was a woman, would her husband be the first man? Why do we have to wait till the water starts boiling before we can put pasta into the water? If a criminal turns himself in shouldn’t he get the reward money? Why are blue Christmas lights so popular? Aren’t…

FIRST QUESTION: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? SECOND QUESTION: If you overtake the last person, then you are…? THIRD QUESTION: Very tricky maths. Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Take 1000 and…

There once was a bus staion named Ureliar (You-Really- Are), a man went to the station and waited for his train, he waited and a man came up to him and said,”Hey,my name is Emabuthed (I’m-A-Butt-Head), what’s the name of the station?” “Ureliar?” replied the man.

The following is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations: #1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. #2: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to south to avoid a collision. #1: This is the captain of a U. S. navy ship. I say…

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? time to get a new fence!

How many moves, at least, are required to checkmate in chess? Four moves. 1.f4 e5 2.g4 Qh4#

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions. One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio. Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris…

It happened one time that a very old lady, whose husband had died, took a walk in the woods. She came across a young man whose hormones were raging. The young man tripped the old lady and came on top of her; she screamed and was heard by a couple walking not too far from…

This Is A True Story, It Really Happened An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, “I have a gun…

What is represented by this? T N O R F O T Back to front!