others

-Archimedes, you are late again. Don’t tell me that you were locked again in the bathroom. -Copernicus, when will you understand that you are not the center of the world? -Galileo, if you will drop stones from the top of the tower one more time, you will be dismissed forever. -Kepler, till when will you…

A group of drug dealers from Mexico tried transporting 6,240 pounds of marijuana to America, by hiding it in a tanker truck disguised as a gasoline truck. They were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas station on the side of the truck. A woman was arrested in Lake City, Florida…

There once was a captain of a ship, and every day at a certain time he would lock himself up in his cabin and look inside a mysterious black box. He did this every day, but he told nojoke what was inside the box. Then one day he died, and in his testament he gave…

Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty (Just how guilty was he?) Legislator Wants Tougher Death Penalty (I say, give it to him.) Man Jumps Off Bridge. Neither Jumper Nor joke Found (What?) After Detour to California Shuttle Returns to Earth (Well, this confirms what many of us have suspected about California.) Woman Improving After…

20. Alex Mijtus, 36 years old, is killed by his wife, armed with a 20″ long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had had enough of her husbands strange sex practices, and one night during a prolonged being of “fun” she snapped, pushing all 20″ of the vibrator into Alex’s anus until it ruptured several internal organs and…

A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. “Fred,” he replies. Fred what?”…

If you can touch it and you can see it, it’s REAL. If you can touch it but you can’t see it, it’s TRANSPARENT. If you can’t touch it but you can see it, it’s VIRTUAL. If you can’t touch it and you can’t see it, it’s GONE.

# 31 Canola oil is actually rapeseed oil but the name was changed in Canada for marketing reasons. # 32 The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA. # 33 The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law which…

IF I LOST A DOLLAR FOR EVERY BRAIN YOU HAVE, I WOULD BE IN DEBT

An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The message for the B-52 crew was, “Anything you can do, I can do better.” Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that he would rise to the challenge. The B-52,…

Can You Decipher This Phrase? STEP -> A step in the right direction!

Dear Abby, I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with ‘the girls’ a lot recently…