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One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The cowboy said, “I’m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed…

A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But as time went by, the traffic slowly built up to an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the sheriff’s office and…

1) Umm… 2) Well… 3) Hmmm, er… 4)

This will warm your heart, just when you have lost faith in human kindness…. Dear Safety Harbor Middle School, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has…

I have no soul. yes, Thats why I’m an asshole! I have somethin’ up my ass and no, that ain’t no mole. I pick on everyjoke ’cause I’m a nojoke. My girlfriend left me. Sometimes I go crazy and go out in the streets and yell “COME FUCK ME!” Everyone asks me, “Hey, whats up…

Bush, Chirac and Saddam went to hell. Bush wanted to call the US, so he called for one minute and then asked for the cost and he was told $1,000,000, so he paid. Jacques Chirac wanted to call France so he called for one minute and he asked for the cost and he was told…

Attention Bridge Buyers The most respected name in bridge sale is about to present an offer that no self respecting bridge collector can ignore. The Bradley Bridge Exchange is proud to introduce the Commemorative Bridge Series. Even if you have never collected bridges before this unique investment opportunity should interest you. The Bradley Bridge Exchange…

A man was driving down an Alaskan road and his car broke down. He phoned the Alaskan Mobile Fixit Service and they arrived shortly after. He service man opened the bonnet and after a while the repair man said ” It looks like you’ve blown a seal “, the man replies “No, it’s just frost…

Chuck Norris’ sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said, “Of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?” Chuck…

This is by me, the asshole who dupes himeself.

Baboons were once trained by Egyptians to wait on tables. A queen bee can lay 800-1500 eggs per day. The Popsicle was invented in 1905 by an 11-year-old boy. “Disco” means “I learn” in Latin.

What do you get when you cross a cheetah with a hamburger? Fast food!