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Cinderella, Superman and Pinocchio die and go to heaven. On their way they talk: Cinderella: “I want to be remembered as the most beautiful girl in the world.” Superman: “I want to be remembered as the strongest person in the world.” Pinocchio: “I want to be remembered as the greatest liar in the world.” It’s…

What kind of trouble does a five foot man have??? Five feet!!!

A boy was playing internet games on Yahoo. Finding it hilarious, he had named himself “emilycheesehotchick”. One time, while playing pool, his opponent messaged to him “Want to have cyber sex…?” Curiousity took over him, and so he replied “Sure!”. Thus followed a hot and mostly one-sided cyber sex, when all of a sudden, his…

A guy in a restaurant says to the waitress, “I want a cup of coffee without cream.” The waitress comes back a few minutes later and says, “I’m sorry, but we’re all out of cream. Would you mind taking your coffee without milk?”

“Man” jokez..n a boy joke.. A man was wandering in the woods, pondering all the things of life, and his own personal problems. He couldn’t find the answers so he sought help from God. “God, God, you there God?” he asked. “Yes, what is it my son?” God answered. “I have a few questions; mind…

One day a couple of kids named “Poop”, “Shut-Up”, and “Manners” were on a bus. All of a sudden Poop falls out of the window! Manners jumps out of the bus to save him. So, Shut-Up runs to the bus driver to get some help. The bus driver asks him, “What’s your name?!” “Shut-Up.” At…

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser, with an experienced partner. A call came in, telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get…

Once there was a woman taking a shower when she heard a knock on door. A voice called, “It’s me, the fireman.” So the woman wrapped a towel around herself and went to the door. The fireman said, “Congratulate me, I just put out a fire!” So the woman congratulated him and went back to…

What do you call a pretty woman in Poland? A tourist

If two black cats walk by each other, then do they both get bad luck? Does the more disgusting foods mean that they are healthier? When you get your first pair of scissors you need a pair of scissors to open the pair of scissors that you just got. So how are you going to…

Never have lunch with a chess player – I did once; there was a checkered tablecloth, and it took him half an hour to pass me the salt.

The musician Ted Nugent was being interviewed by a British radio show, and the liberal presenter was giving him a hard time about being a deer hunter. “What do you think is going through that deer’s head when you kill it?” she asks. “Don’t you think it is wondering what it ever did to harm…