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How can you tell that the Stasi has bugged your apartment? There’s a new cabinet in it.

If you rearrange the letters in “Chuck Norris”, they also spell “Crush Rock In”. The words “with his fists” are understood. Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything…

Do this on a calculator! So here’s the story: a woman had 69 boobs which was too too too much. So she went to 51st street and the doctor took all the time he had and ate all the boobs and she became boobless! 69 boobs 222 much 51st street 6922251 X time 6922251 X…

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is…

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the…

Why are constipated people so mean and rude? ..because they don’t give a crap!

On June 10th, 2006, San Fransisco, California held the largest gay, nude bike ride in the United States. I’m never buying a used bike ever again.

No cure here. . . .

There once was a village, it was powerful and had the strongest warriors, one day, a tourist goes to them and says they were cowards, they yelled and beat him, but finally, the tourist said, “This book says that the Paccachu are selfish people who steal, and are cannibals.” The villagers looking at the book…

Q. What always stays hot inside a refridgerator? A. Salsa!

It’s a sunny morning in a big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his…

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef’s claim…