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Three hunters, Chuck, Thomas and Mick, are on safari. Unfortunately they are captured by cannibals, who start getting the cooking pots ready. The cannibal chief tells them they can each have one last wish. “What’s your last request?” he asks Chuck, an American. “I’d like a steak,” he replies, so the cannibals kill a wildebeeste…

Q. Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs? A. Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all. Q. What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant? A. Have sex once a year. Q. What is…

I always find myself arguing with my sister over who got up earliest in the morning. It’s ridiculous. I have to remind myself that I really don’t care. Usually this is what happens… (sister walks into the room) Her: Hey. What time did you get up this morning? Me: Um…around 9:00. Her: Oh. I woke…

1. Log on: Make the wood stove hotter 2. Log off: Don’t add no more wood 3. Monitor: Keep an eye on that wood stove 4. Download: Getting the firewood off the truck 5. Floppy Disk: What you fet from trying to carry to much firewood 6. Ram: The thing that splits the firewood 7.…

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said “Why did you put up such a fight?” To which the man replied, “I was afraid that you would find the $200…

Ben Dover Mike Hunt Phil McCrackin Ajock Strap Anita Cock Ipe Freely Seymour Buttes

Give blood. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Go skateboarding.

A young air force officer had a very beautiful wife. Early each morning he left his house and went to the airport, and an hour later his wife always left the house too, with a big white towel, and went for a walk on the beach. Her husband always flew over every morning, and when…

John had been working for an Advertising Firm for almost three years, and was getting a promotion, when his boss called him into his office. “John, I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to let you go. When I put you up for promotion, the company did a background check, and we found out that you got…

Two guys are in the woods camping out when a bear attacks them. While the bear sniffs around the food, the first guy starts lacing up his sneakers. The second guys goes, “Are you crazy? You can’t outrun a bear!” The first guy replies, “I dont need to; I only have to outrun you.”

A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help. Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full…

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get…