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THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN GEORGIA: 1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air 2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in GEORGIA. 3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in GEORGIA plus a couple no one’s seen before 4. If…

What do u call 1 Paki on the moon? Answer: A problem What do u call 10 Paki’s on the moon? Answer: A problem What do u call 100 Paki’s on the moon? Answer: A problem What do u call all the Paki’s on the moon? Answer: Problem solved

TEXAS SALESMAN – A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas.” The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job.” You…

An elevator operator complained that he was getting tired of people asking him for the time. A friend suggested that he hang a clock in his elevator. A few weeks later, the friend inquired as to how things were going. “Just awful!” declared the elevator operator. “NOW, all day long, people ask me, “Is the…

Today is International Day of The Very Good Looking, Beautiful and Damn Attractive People, so send this message to someone you think fits this description. Please do not send it back to me as I have already received over one thousand messages and my inbox is jammed full.

The median of the list n; n+3, n+4; n+5; n+6; n+8; n+10; n+12; n+15 is 10. What is the mean? What is the median and what is the mean? There are 9 numbers, and the median is the 5th number n+6. Compare each number with the median, the mean is 10+(-6-3-2-1+2+4+6+9)/9=11.

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth…

The old Lord of the Manor was finally on his death-bed, and had called his servants to his bed-side. To his butler, he said, “Jeeves, you have been with me now for nearly 40 years, and for your loyal service I shall leave you Ashley Hall, with its 74 rooms, and a 100% pension.” “Thank…

Annoy People ——————————————————————————– 1. Pay tolls with $100 bills 2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot 3. Eat produce at the market; don’t buy it 4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two 5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April…

Racing through the snow a onewarde southern sleigh, all the way we go bahing through the trees, the snow is turning red, I think i’m almost dead, all the children laugh and play around my stupid head!

Of course you know they have changed the look of twenty dollar bills recently. What happens to the old ones? Bill Gates gets them!

Lady on telephone: “Hello sir, I want to meet & talk to you. You are the father of one of my kids.” Guy (stunned!): Are you Sandra? No. Jenny? No. Amy? No. Betty? No. Lady (in confusion): “No sir, I’m your son’s class teacher.”