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What do you call a pretty woman in Poland? A tourist

If two black cats walk by each other, then do they both get bad luck? Does the more disgusting foods mean that they are healthier? When you get your first pair of scissors you need a pair of scissors to open the pair of scissors that you just got. So how are you going to…

Never have lunch with a chess player – I did once; there was a checkered tablecloth, and it took him half an hour to pass me the salt.

The musician Ted Nugent was being interviewed by a British radio show, and the liberal presenter was giving him a hard time about being a deer hunter. “What do you think is going through that deer’s head when you kill it?” she asks. “Don’t you think it is wondering what it ever did to harm…

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I was in McDonald’s one time when the lady in front of me ordered a cheeseburger and requested no cheese. Now I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a hamburger to me. Many years ago I worked in a delicatessen. The assistant manager had burnt something in the oven and smoke was pouring…

A Chinese family of four was eating fried rice for dinner. As always, the half-blind father was last. Thinking that nojoke will care if he throws his food out, he does so, as he sees an empty garbage can. The next morning his wife says to him: “Honey, while you were eating dinner I took…

A lady walks into a shop that sells VERY expensive Persian rugs. She browses around, then spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug, she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and…

Of a swimmer Saw four sharks, Off the coast. Three he missed, One almost. Tight Rope Walker Used no net, Knew no fear. Made mis-step, Wound up here. Novice farmer Here lies Clyde, Whose life was full. Until he tried, To milk a bull.

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Two elderly Wal-Mart greeters were sitting on a bench during break time and one turns to the other saying, “Slim, I’m 73 years old and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age; how do you feel?” Slim says, “I feel just like a new born babe.” Rather amazed at…

Ole and Sven are neighbors in Minnesota. Ole is in need of a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over the border in Wisconsin. He drives over to Wisconsin, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the…