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A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of the tortoise section. Later, the…

Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game. With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178,100 a day, working or not. If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. If he…

A Japanese and an American are sitting next to each other in an airplane. The Japanese turns to the American and says “We are so technically advanced that we have exact replicas of ourselves so we can be at two places at the same time”. He continues, “Therefore, I can be at work and at…

Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, “Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!”

The train was about to pull out of the station. A young man ran towards it and managed to throw his bag in and climb aboard just in time. A fellow passenger looked at him and said, “Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a…

Q: What is the first thing you are taught when joining the French army? A: To say “I surrender” in German

In Arkansas, it is illegal to say the word Arkansas incorrectly.

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed… unless it meets Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn’t go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking. Fact: Chuck Norris doesn’t consider it sex if the woman survives. It is said that…

Melvyn and Max were left quite a large plot of land by their rich father. However, this caused the two sons much grief. For months they argued long and hard over how the land should be divided between them. The solution just wasn’t that simple, so they took the problem to their priest. “Father,” said…

Get to the ledge of the plane. Then, you will do the following: 1.Squat 2.Pray 3.Leap 4.AHHHH! (It’s what you scream on the way down, isn’t it?) 5.Touchdown Yes sir, thats S…P…L…A…T In other words, SPLAT!

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says “spit your gum out” and a train says “choo choo!!”

A book never written: Becoming a Better Artist by N.O. Creativity