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Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands. On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000 The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris When…

What starts with T, ends with the T and has full of T’s? [You must answer it and write it in the comment box!(hehe)]

Moe the midget always gets bullied by Terrance the tall goon. After many months of getting bullied and being made fun of his size, Moe has had it. One day, Moe challenges Terrance saying, “If you can do everything I can, then I will leave town forever and if you can’t, then you will have…

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked “Electronic cat and dog caller — guaranteed to work.” I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.

A policeman was walking the beat when suddenly he saw a large black man pummeling a small jewish man as he pinned him to the concrete. The policeman quickly rushed in to break up the scuffle. He asked the black man what was going on and why he was beating the helpless man. The black…

THINGS TO DO AT A BORING MOVIE: 1. Wear a top hat and make sure you sit in front of kids. 2. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!” 3. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses. 4. Clap when the good guy gets killed. 5. Make a noise like your passing gas and go,…

What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, I’m goin in!

I’ve sure gotten old. I’ve had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and…

A friend and I stayed at a Chicago hotel while attending a convention. Since we weren’t used to the big city, we were overly concerned about security. The first night we placed a chair against the door and stacked our luggage on it. To complete the barricade, we put the trash can on top. If…

We and You is friends. You smile, We smile….. You hurt, We hurt…. You cry, We cry… You jump off a bridge… We gonna miss you!

Q. What little girl takes from the rich and gives to the poor? A. Little Red Robbin’ Hood!

(Told You So)