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A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to baste a turkey. After a stunned moment, he, being a fairly good cook, described the procedure. Then he asked, “But why would you call the State Police to find out how to baste a turkey?” There was…

I think Santa Claus is a woman… I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast…

What 3 words are in the name Amanda? A, man, DUH!!

# Your left lung is smaller in size than your right lung, it is like that in order to make room for your heart. # Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time # Male human brains are about 10 percent heavier than female brains # Before 1800…

From an interview with a millionaire: “What is your secret to making money?” “Quite simple. Before entering business I observed that most of the sales profits are generally lost in the handling of complaints and refunds. So I made my decision to try to eliminate these expenses.” “I can say that’s quite a big task!”…

What do you get when every car in the nation is pink? Answer: a pink carnation (the flower)

I probably shouldn’t admit this to you younger readers, but when my generation was your age, we did some pretty stupid things. I’m talking about taking CRAZY risks. We drank water right from the tap. We used aspirin bottles that you could actually open with your bare hands. We bought appliances that were not festooned…

Morris, as a young man in the Old West, wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. So Morris walked up to the old man and told him his dream.…

Q. What did Stevie Wonder say about the cheese grater he got for Christmas? A. It was the scariest book he had ever read!

Hey, I saw you in Dunkin’ donuts yesterday!! You’re the one ordering triple chocolate, double vanilla, quadrupal cinnamon and double whip cream dounut filled with sprinkles.

The teacher stood at the front of the room. “Does anyjoke know what this Monday is?” About half of the students raised their hands. The teacher pointed to one of them. “It’s Columbus Day!” he crowed. The teacher smiled. “It is. Does anyjoke know why we celebrate it?” This time, only one student raised her…

Once I went to visit my cousin in Jersey and I was looking for his house and when I found his house I rang the doorbell and like I said, “Hey cuz” and he answered I’m not your cousin. Then I said, “Yes I am, and then he closes the door on me. So I…