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The other day, after what felt like five days of after-school detention, I hailed a taxi – it was almost six, jeez. I opened the door and stepped inside. Making myself comfortable in the back seat, I told him my home address, without caring who the cabbie was. I sank into the seat, with a…

A computer teacher who doesn’t speak good english tells his student “Paul open the window let the Air Force Come.” At another time the same teacher and his wife sees one of his students in mall. The next day the teacher says to the student “Tim, yesterday I saw you with my wife at the…

An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband. The mother asks the daughter, “What are you doing naked?” The daughter responds, “This is the dress of love.” When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband. When her husband arrives, he asks…

#1 Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil). 2 # Warner Comm. paid $28 million for the copyright to the song ‘Happy Birthday.’ #3 Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. #4 A comet’s tail always points…

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a…

(A continuation of Joke #7939 Idiot #9 – – – – – – A woman called the cops from her house and said, “My ex-boyfriend stole my pot!” So the police went to the ex-boyfriends house, took the marijuana, and arrested him. The same officer went to the woman’s house and asked her to identify…

Q: Why do black people have white hands? A: Everyone has a little good in them

1. Slow people always walk side by side, even if they don’t know each other. 2. They drive side by side, too. If they can’t find another slow driver to pair up with, they drive in the fast lane. 3. Slow walkers never look back. When they drive, they never look in their rear view…

1. They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances. 2. All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out. 3. Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot. 4. If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back. 5. You cannot board the plane unless you have the…

GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD Crawford, Texas (AP) A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom where the books were kept. Both books have been lost. A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had almost finished…

An ejector seat on a helicopter. A fly screen on a submarine. An ashtray for a motorcycle. A lead balloon. A bikini for Eskimos. Sugar-cube fishing bait. A glass baseball bat..

A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, who’s lucky number is 5 receives a phone call from a friend. The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track…