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10. Horton Hears a Ho 9. National Pleasure 2: Book of Secretions 8. I Am Legend…In Bed 7. The Suck It List 6. I Know Who Drilled Me 5. Scat-Atouille 4. Gush Hour 3 3. No Country for Old Balls 2. Alvin in the Chipmunks 1. Iron Man

What does a grape say when it gets squished? Nothing, it just lets out a little whine.

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations across the United States and rest of the world. Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK) Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH…

New warning labels for liquor, wine and beer containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what in the world happened to your bra and panties. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor…

9 = diagonals of a hexagon.

Top 10 Summer Camps you should not send your kids to: 10. Tommy Lee’s———- Camp Kickachickee 9. Lorena Bobbit’s—— Camp Cutaweewee 8. Tanya Harding’s—— Camp Wackaneenee 7. Kenneth Star’s——- Camp Catchacrookee 6. Louis Farakahn’s—– Camp Killawhitey 5. O.J. Simpson’s——- Camp Killachickee 4. Michael Jackson’s—- Camp Wannabewhitey 3. President Clinton’s—–Camp Getahoochie 2. Ellen Degeneras’s——-Camp Lickacoochie And…

A Mexican, an Asian, an African, and an American all somehow come across a genie at the same time. They rub the lamp and the genie pops out and agrees to grant them all one wish each. The genie turns to the Mexican and asks what he wished for. “I wish that myself and all…

A man at the movies had left his seat to buy an ice-cream. On his return he said to an old lady sitting at the end of the row, “I’m sorry, but did I step on your toe a minute ago?” The woman angrily replied “Yes, you certainly did!” “Oh,” said the man, “Then this…

A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, “Is this a union house?” “No,” she replied, “I’m sorry, it isn’t.” “Well, if I pay you $100.00, what…

Touring Ireland’s countryside with a group of travel writers, we passed an immaculate cemetery with hundreds of beautiful headstones set in a field of emerald-green grass. Everyone reached for their cameras when the tour guide said the inventor of the crossword puzzle was buried there. He pointed out the location, “Three down and four across.”

Analogy of sex: Insert the ‘quarter’ into the ‘vending machine’ and then the ‘gumball’ comes out.

Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators. They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you’re at a big, high-class casino. At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag…