puns
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Story of a happy dog
in JokesTrouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trouser’s owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out…
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Talking With Time
in JokesWhat did the clock say to the wristwatch? “I enjoyed tocking with you, but now you’re starting to tick me off.”
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Pun-damentals of Punning!
in JokesRelish today, ketchup tomorrow! A hamburger walks into the bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” I wanted to be a mime, but I talked myself out of it. Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.
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Hairdressers
in JokesQ: Why are hairdressers always on time? A: Because they know all the short cuts!
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Quit While You’re…
in JokesA man was waiting for his wife to give birth when the doctor came in and informed the new dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son had only a head! But the dad loved his son anyway, and raised him as well as he could, with love and…
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Battle of Wits
in JokesMaurice has a business appointment, and he arrives a little early. The receptionist points to a comfortable easy chair and asks him to be seated for a while. Maurice settles down, picks up a glossy magazine opens it, and tries to read. However, he finds that he cannot concentrate because he is distracted due to…
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“What’s Up, Doc?”
in JokesA doctor one day was accidentally cut rather badly on the leg. He went to an operating theatre and started to stitch his own leg up, using a local anaesthetic. While doing this, a colleague came into the room, and offered to help. The first doctor thanked him, but said he would carry on himself.…
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What Did the Bra Say…
in JokesWhat’ did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead, I’ll give these two a lift.