puns

Since workaholics are people addicted to work and chocaholics are people addicted to chocolate, are catholics people addicted to cats?

A genetic scientist managed to create dolphins that would live to 250 years of age – if they were fed seagulls. One day the scientist’s supply of gulls ran out, so he went out to trap some more. On the way back, he came upon two sleeping lions. Not wanting to wake the big cats,…

Outside a small Macedonian village, close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of a site of significant historic developments. The convent once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun. In more ancient…

Most people don’t know that back in 1912 Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the “Titanic” was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. Mexicans were crazy about the stuff.…

I’ve been out of work for a while, so when I found a job sorting salt and pepper, I was most pleased. The only drawback is that it’s seasonal work.

The Russians were called “Reds,” a long while ago. So a war general named Rudolf walks into a bakery. The baker starts talking about owning a reindeer. He starts asking questions about it to the general. When the baker gets home, he tells his wife, “Rudolf the Red knows reindeer!”

This guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks the bartender, “Got any specials today?” The bartender replies,  “Yes, as a matter of fact, we have a new drink that was invented by a gynecologist who is a patron of ours. It’s a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and Smirnoff vodka.” The guy asks, “Geez, what kind…

What do you get when the post office burns down? A case of black mail.

Why should you look out for a pig that knows karate? It might give you a pork chop!

Two bulls are in a locker room when one guy notices the other dude has a cork in his ass. He says, “How’d you get a cork in your ass?” The other bull says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a…

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that allowed them to claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf became a well traveled trail through the jungle. All…

I gave up Thai boxing because I felt the Thais were getting fed up being put in boxes.