puns
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Punny Jokes (yes, i know i mispelled funny)
in JokesDid you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing? He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink. How…
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Strongest Days?
in JokesQ. What are the strongest days of the week? A. Saturday and Sunday, because all the rest are week days.
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Its a Habit
in JokesA doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that…
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Museum Curator
in JokesThe assistant curator of the musuem came to the head curator with a couple of problems. “Sir, the mummy is damp and getting mouldy. And the white mouse in the maze exhibit has developed dry skin.” The head curator thought for a minute, then advised, “Put your mummy where your mouse is.”
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The Three Balloons
in JokesOnce upon a time, there lived three balloons – Papa Balloon, Mama Balloon, and Baby Balloon. Baby Balloon would always go to bed in his own room, but would soon sneak into Mama and Papa’s bed. When Baby Balloon got a bit bigger, his parents tried to get him to stay in his own bed…
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Fast Food Frog
in JokesQuestion: What did the frog order at McDonald’s? Answer: An order of french flies and a diet croak!!
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Escalators
in JokesWhenever I have to go up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator because one time i was on an escalator and I tripped… So i was falling for an hour and a half.
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Depressed Crocodile
in JokesOne day, a depressed crocodile decides to see his doctor about his problems. He says, “Doc, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I don’t feel like killing people anymore. I don’t like attacking them, I don’t like wrestling them in the water, and I definitely don’t like eating them.” The doctor goes over to…