puns

Teacher: So class, in the medieval times, the Puritan’s ears were cut off if they didn’t attend Catholic services. Student: I bet they didn’t like the sound of that!

There was a Mexican family living in Mexico. The father of the family wasn’t making very much money and he decided that he and his family were going to move to America in order to live a better life, so the family moved to America. The Mexican man didn’t found a job there, and his…

The other day, I heard that a good friend of mine was outside during a thunderstorm and got struck by lightning. I was a bit shocked, but not as much as he was.

“What’s the difference between Honecker and a telephone? None! Hang up and try again.”

Velcro – what a rip-off!

America is a land of untold wealth. – Internal Revenue Service.

Woman: I did something special today. Man: What? Woman: I rode on a hippo. Man: Surely you musn’t be kidding. Woman: Yes I’m not kidding and don’t call me Shirley.

A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named Amal. The other went to a family in Spain, and they named him Juan. Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she told her husband…

Why did the tent agree to stand up all night? He was roped into it!

A Chinese couple got married and were now known as Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong. However, they didn’t know why, but they couldn’t have white children. So they went to the doctor to find out what the problem was, and they told him the story and the doctor replied, “Didn’t you know?” “Two Wongs don’t…

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter said,”I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer’s down. You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as priests. What do you pick to be?” The…

A complex is a phobia. A complex is a large building. A complex is another word for complicated. So if you have a phobia about complicated large buildings, you might be said to have a complex complex complex.