puns

  • Story of a happy dog

    Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trouser’s owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out…

  • Talking With Time

    What did the clock say to the wristwatch? “I enjoyed tocking with you, but now you’re starting to tick me off.”

  • Pun-damentals of Punning!

    Relish today, ketchup tomorrow! A hamburger walks into the bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” I wanted to be a mime, but I talked myself out of it. Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

  • WHY???

    Why did Tom throw butter outside the window? Because he wanted to see the butter-fly.

  • Hairdressers

    Q: Why are hairdressers always on time? A: Because they know all the short cuts!

  • Quit While You’re…

    A man was waiting for his wife to give birth when the doctor came in and informed the new dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son had only a head! But the dad loved his son anyway, and raised him as well as he could, with love and…

  • Battle of Wits

    Maurice has a business appointment, and he arrives a little early. The receptionist points to a comfortable easy chair and asks him to be seated for a while. Maurice settles down, picks up a glossy magazine opens it, and tries to read. However, he finds that he cannot concentrate because he is distracted due to…

  • Grizzly

    What do you call a Grizzly with no teeth? A gummy bear

  • Target

    I tried to walk into Target one day… I missed

  • “What’s Up, Doc?”

    A doctor one day was accidentally cut rather badly on the leg. He went to an operating theatre and started to stitch his own leg up, using a local anaesthetic. While doing this, a colleague came into the room, and offered to help. The first doctor thanked him, but said he would carry on himself.…

  • What Did the Bra Say…

    What’ did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead, I’ll give these two a lift.

  • Monsters

    What monster was created on April 1? Pranken-stien