puns

As the plane was flying low over hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: “What’s that stuff on those hills?” “Just snow,” replied the stewardess. “That’s what I thought,” said the lady, “but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece.”

Joel: “How’s the progress on new house that you are building Pete?” Peter: “Things are really slow at the moment.” Joel: “Yeah, I guess all this rain would be putting a dampener on things…”

Two blond labourers looking for work arrive at a railway station, and ask for one-way tickets. The ticket-seller looks through his schedule, but can’t find the place the blonds are seeking. “But you must be able to find it,” says one. “We read in the papers that there are thousands of jobs in Jeopardy!”

CAT 1- So how’d that milk drinking contest go? CAT 2- Oh, I won by six laps.

There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people Who remarked it was a shame the old man Was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics…

There was a couple doing yard work, and the wife stops to go up and take a shower. The husband is looking for the rake and yells to his wife, who looks out of the upstairs bathroom window, “Where’s the rake?” She can’t hear him, so he points to his eye (I), points to his…

Q: How can you tell when a bucket gets sick? A: It becomes a little pale.

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: ”Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come…

What’s the difference between the Library of Congress and the House of Representatives? In the Library of Congress you’re not allowed to lick the pages!

Why are there no phone books in China? Because there are so many Wing’s and Wong’s, they are afraid you will Wing the Wong number.

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.