puns

Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid. It seems that most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain,…

What does Monica Lewinsky have on her resume? “Sat on the Presidential Staff”

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it’s getting worse. Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and…

The Reverend Paul Fuzz was the pastor of a small congregation in a little town. One day, as he was walking down Main Street, he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking. He felt this was very sinful and definitely not something a member of his congregation…

What did the dog say to the driver who was driving behind him? Get off my tail!

A man goes to a fancy dress party, dressed from head to toe in green, carrying a woman on his back. The host asks, “What have you come as?” He replies, “I’m a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle!” The host says, “Why have you a woman on your back?” “Oh, that’s Michelle,” he replies. (My shell)

Wear tank tops and support your right to bare arms.

Have you heard about camping? It’s intense. (In tents!)

Vegetable: “Hey, lets get married.” Fruit: “I’m sorry.” Vegetable: “We could secretly get married.” Fruit: “No, we couldn’t.” Vegetable: “Why?” Fruit: “Because we can’t elope.” Can’t elope = cantelope

One day two robins walked along the road, planning their day. Robin #1:Oh my god, we totally have to get some bronzing oil! Robin #2:Duh, I mean if are going to spend the whole day at the beach we totally have to! That day while the robins were tanning on the beach a big bad…

With what kind of bread do elves make their sandwiches? Shortbread!

Why don’t skeletons ever play music at church? Because they don’t have any organs!