puns

  • Hot New Book

    101 Hot ‘n’ Spicy Meals by Tung Payne

  • Try Our Curries

    Sign outside a Chinese restaurant: Try our curries, you’ll never get better.

  • Winning and Quitting

    If winners never quit, and quitters never win… Who was the fool who said, “Quit while you’re ahead”.

  • Peculiarities

    What is more peculiar than watching a catfish? Watching a goldfish bowl.

  • Clinton

    Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex. Bill Clinton worries about getting sex from aides.

  • Red & Purple

    Two ships, one carrying lots of red paint, the other carrying lots of purple paint, crashed on a desert island. The drivers are now marooned.

  • I Ran Into…

    BOB: Hey, I ran into George the other day. JOE: Oh, really? Was he happy to see you? BOB: Well, we were in our cars at the time…

  • Making a Spectacle of Himself

    Did you hear about the eyeglasses maker who moved his shop to an island off Alaska and is now known as an optical Aleutian?

  • But . . .

    I saw a girl the other day. I didn’t like her because she was a butter face. You know ‘butter face’ – she has a hot joke, but her face . . .

  • Game Show

    A man was on a game show. He was on his final question; all he had to do was answer that question right, and he would win 1 million dollars! The game show host said, “All right, for your final question: ‘What are the names of three of Santa’s reindeer?’” The man grinned and said,…

  • The Requirements of This Job

    Employer: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.” Applicant: “I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

  • Country Road

    Route 66 says to the country road: Hey, man, you straight? Country road says: Heck no, I’m a byway!