puns

Q: What did the little chick say when his mom laid an orange? A: Look at the orange-mama-lade!

Movie stars are a reel treat!

A boy go to a girls house and notice her home is very messy and full of paper and clay pot and clothing all over. The boy tell her he bring some pot to her and she answer there is clay pot all over home.

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife. “No, that felt more like snow to me,” she replied. “No, I’m sure it was just rain,” he said. Well, as these things go, they…

A young man was in town looking for a little something from the ladies. A cab driver gave him an address and told him he could find anything he wanted there. When the young man arrived, he saw a door with a small panel on it. He knocked and the panel slid open. A female…

Seems Paris Hilton is having visits from a speech therapist – she’s having trouble finishing a sentence!

There was a nearly-new television for sale the other day. It has a 42-inch plasma screen, and I bought it for $50. The only thing wrong was that there was no volume control – but at that price, I couldn’t turn it down!

A police detective was investigating a homicide. As he questioned the on-scene officer, he learned the joke was that of a young woman. The joke was found with a bowl over her head and a spoon stuck in her back. The on-scene officer asked what the detective thought had happened to the woman. The detective…

Two wrongs do not make a right, but three rights make a left.

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down. “Is this yours?” he…

The FBI and the DEA are joining efforts and will be assigning some of their agents to a quasi-FBI/DEA enforcement team specifically targeting the illegal allergy pills sales that occur on the black market. The agents will be called “Pseudo Feds.”

Ryan: Hey Philip, what’s that on your leg? Philip: A shoe! Ryan: Gesundheit! Philip: No, you idiot, a shoe! Ryan: No need to thank me, gesundheit!