puns

Why don’t skeletons ever play music at church? Because they don’t have any organs!

There was a family of gnus, and one day, Mr Gnu went out to get some food but was ambushed and eaten by a pride of lions. Next salute, a poacher shoots Mrs Gnu, leaving poor Baby Gnu to starve to death. Well, that’s the end of the gnus; here’s the weather . . .

Why do melons get married in church? – Because they cantaloupe.

There was once a very influential farmer in a remote part of China, who had a problem. His chickens were losing their feathers and dying. He sought the counsel of the two wise men in town, Hing, who was scientist, and Ming, who was a sorcerer. Hing, who has had many advanced course hours in…

What do you call a lion wearing a hat? A Dandy Lion.

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces. He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and…

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea – one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, “I’m bored and frustrated at being a prawn,…

Little Brother: How long is a strong? Big Sister: Huh? Little Brother: Well, I’ve heard of a week…

When ice skating, never judge a brook by its cover.

What did the bald man say when he was given a comb for his birthday? “Oh, thank you! I’ll never part with it!”

A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band. Finally, the captain said, “Either you learn to keep time or I’ll throw you overboard. . . . It’s up to you, sync or swim.”