puns

What do you call a black priest? Holy Shit

There was a tradesman, a painter named Jack, who was very interested in making a dollar where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time. Eventually the local church decided to do a big…

– A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. – Dijon vu – the same mustard as before. – Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. – A hangover is the wrath of grapes. – Sea captains don’t like crew cuts. – Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? – Reading…

Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop. One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment. The first guy was charged with breaking and entering; and the second with leaving the scene of an…

My geometry tutor told me, “A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, a five-sided one is called a pentagon.” “What about two sided ones?” I asked. “They don’t exist,” was his response. “I beg to differ! I think we should just let bi-gons be bi-gons.”

Q: What did the older lightbulb say to the younger lightbulb? A: You’re too young to go out tonight.

Clones are people two.

How many ADHD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? It takes twenty se- hey, this is in the wrong cat!

You know you’re a redneck when your brand new tv is sitting on your old ones.

A Pokemon Trainer walks into a STD help center. The nurse there says “Sorry, but it looks like you’ve caught ’em all”

Q: What did the little chick say when his mom laid an orange? A: Look at the orange-mama-lade!

Movie stars are a reel treat!