puns

I tried for years to snap my thumb and finger together – and suddenly it clicked!

I went to a wedding the other day. Two antennas were getting married. It wasn’t much of a wedding ceremony, but it was one heck of a reception!

What’s black and white and played all over? Black and White (the computer game)

Started a great book the other day – I couldn’t put it down. It’s called “The History of Glue”!

When I was in high school I had a friend who had a wooden eye (this was a long time ago). He was very insecure about it. Come senior year he didn’t have a date for the Prom. There was a beautiful girl he liked, but had a hairlip (this gave her an extreme lisp)…

There I was, in my car, driving down the road, when my boss rang up and said, “We’re making you Chief Area Salesman,” and I swerved. Ten minutes later, he called again, “You’re now Deputy Area Manager,” and I swerved again. Another twenty minutes go by, and another phone call, “You’re now Vice Chairman,” and…

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A boy fell in a mud puddle.

There was a congregation that decided to have four worship services each Sunday. There was one for those new to the faith. Another for those who liked traditional worship. One for those who had lost their faith and would like to get it back. And another for those who had a bad experience with church and were…

Drink apple juice, because O.J. will kill you. (O.J. = Orange Juice)

From: [langalist] LangaList Standard Edition 2003-07-24 Just For Grins 1. Coffee (n), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v), to give up hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v), to attempt an explanation when drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj), impotent.…

Goldilocks was walking along one sunny afternoon when she found a beautiful house in the woods. The door was open, so she walked right in. There she found a table set with three bowls of steaming porridge. “Hello?” she called out, but no one was home. She tried the first bowl, but it was too…

Sometimes people with a lot of cents have little sense.