puns

Band Class is the only class where you can blow it.

When she told me I was average, she was just being mean. Editor’s note: Mean can mean both not nice but another definition is average.

What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quattro Sinko.

In “The Greatest Story Ever Told”, John Wayne played a centurion at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. One of his lines was, “Truly he is the Son of God!” The director felt John W. wasn’t putting enough into it, and asked him to deliver the line again, but with a little more emphasis – “to…

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

What do you call 2 lesbians in a cupboard? A: A liquor cabinet!

What do you get if you cross a rhino and and elephant? Elepf-ino (pronounced “Hell if I know”)

Q: Why didn’t Cain please God? A: Because he just wasn’t Able.

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi!

Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils!

Did you hear about the woman who poured margaritas in her birdbath? Enough tequila mockingbird.

A very mean, nasty, unattractive woman enters the Wal-Mart store with her two kids. The Wal-Mart greeter says hello to the kids and then hello to the lady who just grunts at the greeter in return. The greeter asks the lady, “Great kids! Are they twins?” “No,” replies the lady, “one is 9 the other…