puns

Two Potatoes are standing on a street corner. How do you know which one is a hooker? It’s the one stamped I-da-Ho (Idaho potato)

Why do you Drive on the Parkway but Park on the Driveway?

Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when He decided that He really needed a new robe. After looking around for a while, He saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor. So, He went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for Him. A few days later, when the robe was…

Teacher: So class, in the medieval times, the Puritan’s ears were cut off if they didn’t attend Catholic services. Student: I bet they didn’t like the sound of that!

There was a Mexican family living in Mexico. The father of the family wasn’t making very much money and he decided that he and his family were going to move to America in order to live a better life, so the family moved to America. The Mexican man didn’t found a job there, and his…

The other day, I heard that a good friend of mine was outside during a thunderstorm and got struck by lightning. I was a bit shocked, but not as much as he was.

“What’s the difference between Honecker and a telephone? None! Hang up and try again.”

Velcro – what a rip-off!

America is a land of untold wealth. – Internal Revenue Service.

Woman: I did something special today. Man: What? Woman: I rode on a hippo. Man: Surely you musn’t be kidding. Woman: Yes I’m not kidding and don’t call me Shirley.

A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named Amal. The other went to a family in Spain, and they named him Juan. Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she told her husband…

Why did the tent agree to stand up all night? He was roped into it!