puns

Why did the big knot give the little knot a time-out? It was being knotty!

El Nino storms are affecting trade with Asian countries. A freighter bound for Long Beach Calif. with a cargo of yo-yos got caught in a particularly violent storm and sank 65 times.

Have you heard about the sauna that serves food? Their specialty is steamed mussels.

A couple of weeks ago the clouds over western Washington were moving to the west. Normally they head east, inland over the mountains to central Washington and beyond. Scientists blamed the switch on mad cloud disease.

A rancher walked up to the window at the post office, where a new clerk was sorting mail. “Any mail for Mike Howe?” the rancher asked. The clerk ignored him and the rancher repeated his question in a louder voice. Without looking up, the clerk said, “No, none for your cow and none for your…

The three stages of sex in marriage: Tri-weekly, Try-weekly, Try-weakly.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).

News just in – the drummer tripped over the cymbals, and hit his head. The hospital spokesperson said, “He’ll be all right in a couple of days; he’s just suffering from percussion.”

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ….what? A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what…

There was a king who was very greedy; he ruled a land called Drid. Every day he would take all the money and food the Drids had that day. This had gone on for years and the Drids were sick of it. One day a rabbi walked into the town and saw that all the…