puns

A Chinese couple got married and were now known as Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong. However, they didn’t know why, but they couldn’t have white children. So they went to the doctor to find out what the problem was, and they told him the story and the doctor replied, “Didn’t you know?” “Two Wongs don’t…

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter said,”I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer’s down. You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as priests. What do you pick to be?” The…

A complex is a phobia. A complex is a large building. A complex is another word for complicated. So if you have a phobia about complicated large buildings, you might be said to have a complex complex complex.

A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. Thinking it would make the trip more bearable, he invited several coworkers to share the ride. However, the commute actually got more stressful, especially the…

Two Arab fathers are showing each other their family photos. One shows the other a picture and says “This is my oldest, he is a martyr. This is my second oldest, he is also a martyr.” The other Arab father just sighs and says “Ahh, they blow up so quickly these days!”

How many ears did Davy Crockett have? 3 – His right ear, his left ear, and his wild front-ear.

What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry Martinez.

(to be read aloud) ‘Twas in a restaurant they met Romeo and Juliet But Romeo couldn’t pay the bill So Romee-owed what Julie ate (“ett”).

– OK, . . . . so what’s the speed of dark? – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. – Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. – Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. – How much deeper would the ocean…

When a girl needs advice, why can’t her brother help her? Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too. (And a sister too!)

What do you call a black priest? Holy Shit

There was a tradesman, a painter named Jack, who was very interested in making a dollar where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time. Eventually the local church decided to do a big…