redneck

You might be a redneck if you’ve ever watched a tornado from a lawn chair.

Someone approaches you to say hi and your immediate response is, “You bet I am!”

You’re probably a redneck if……………….. During your wedding, when you kissed the bride, your John Deere hat fell off.

Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if… your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles you have a shuttle called “Billy Joe Bob” he refers to Klingons as “Critters” he refers to Photon Torpedoes as “Popguns” he has the…

You might be a redneck if… Your gene pool doesn’t have a “deep end.”

Far – What get the brandin arn hot. Furred – He got furred from his job. Flar – A rose is a purdy flar. Frash – Them aigs ain’t frash. Furiners – All non-‘bamans. Further – Hits ten miles further to town. Grain – She was grain with envy. Hail – Where bad folks go.…

You might be a redneck if your swimsuit is your bra and underwear.

You might be a redneck if your baby’s first words were, “Attention, K-mart shoppers!”

One time there was 2 rednecks Bob and John. They were best friends. Bob had just gone bankrupt so he asked John if he could move in with him. Now John didn’t have a big house like Bob use to have but agreed to let him stay there till he got out of bankruptcy. The…

You might be a redneck if your bar tab has page numbers.

You are a redneck if: you’ve ever dislodged a sunflower seed from the corner of your eye.

Gull – A young female. Hale – Where General Sherman went for what he did to Etlanna. Moanin – Between daybreak and noon. Motuhsickle – A two-wheeled missile with a powerful engine. Nekkid – To be unclothed. Ovair – In that direction. Own – Instead of awf. Phrasin – Very cold. Sebmup – Soft drink…