redneck

You’re a redneck if: The only thing you swing a bat at is a mailbox.

What breaks up a redneck orgy? When mom and dad/uncle arrive home too soon.

You might be a redneck if you carry more than two extra tires in the back of your truck.

Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob told Lester, “Ya know, I reckon I’m about ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii.…

You know you’re a redneck when you mow your lawn and find 10 cars.

You might be a redneck if you have orange road cones in your living room!

A blonde woman in Georgia bought a magnolia tree from a local nursery but, after only a few months, its leaves shrivelled and it appeared to be on its last legs. She took some leaf samples back to the nursery and demanded an explanation. “Oh, I know exactly what’s wrong with your magnolia tree, ma’am,”…

A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. “Think it’s safe to cross?” the man asked. “I reckon so,” replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by…

This guy is walking along a dirt road when he stumbles upon a redneck lying on the ground with his ear in the dirt. “Are you alright? What are you doing?” the man asks but gets no answer at all. The redneck doesn’t even acknowledge that he is there. So after a while of silence…

Redneck Threats: – I’ll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtalk style. – This’ll jar your preserves. – Don’t you be making’ me open a can o’ whoop-ass on yaw!

What do you say to a redneck with a beautiful woman on his arm? “Hey, nice tattoo!”

You know you’re a redneck if your fence doubles as your clothesline