redneck

You might be a redneck if you wear a tube top to a funeral!

You are a redneck if: you use a handful of creek mud as birth control.

If the most common phrase in your house is “Somejoke go jiggle the handle!”… you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if there is a four-wheeler parked in your bedroom.

You might be a redneck if when someone says: “Do you have any duct tape?” And you say: “I don’t have any ducks on tapes but I’ve got some on my wall.”

Why do the Arkansas cheerleaders wear bibs? To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can’t be fried in bacon grease, it ain’t worth cooking, let alone eating. 2. Just because one can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can’t stay home the two days of the year it snows. 3. If you do run your car into…

90 percent of people in Idaho say, “Oh shit!” when in a car wreck, The other ten percent say, “Hold my beer and watch this shit!”

You might be a redneck if… You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can’t remember how old your children are.

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name: (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Unemployed Spouse’s Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt…

If you name your kids after dead family pets you just might be a redneck!

You know you’re a redneck if you would rather your son have his own hunting show than become a doctor.