redneck

You know you’re a redneck if: 1) You drive your house and sleep in your car. 2) You think a loaded dishwasher means your wife is drunk. 3) You have more than 2 relatives named Buh Buh. 4) You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of HER kids.…

“If you do settle in the South and bear children, don’t think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn’t call ’em biscuits.”

You are a redneck if: You’ve ever bought steel-toed boots, only to remove the steel to patch a hole in your trailer.

You know you’re a redneck if you introduce a friend to your wife and sister and he only has to shake one hand.

You are a redneck if: you’ve ever gotten a headache reading the newspaper.

If you work without a shirt on, and so does your husband, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if . . . you have been married three times and you still have the same in-laws, You think TACO BELL is a Mexican Phone Company, Your house still has the “WIDE LOAD” sign on the back, You think Possum is “The Other White Meat”, You hooked up with your…

If you have more pets than relatives you just might be a redneck.

You are a redneck if: you’ve shaved off your eyebrows and taped them to a little kid’s back.

You might be a redneck if you constantly call the feed and seed store to see if the cat has had her kittens yet.

You might be a redneck if you think cauliflower is a phone dating service for flowers.

You might be a redneck if your toenail clippers say craftsman on the side!