redneck

One time there was 2 rednecks Bob and John. They were best friends. Bob had just gone bankrupt so he asked John if he could move in with him. Now John didn’t have a big house like Bob use to have but agreed to let him stay there till he got out of bankruptcy. The…

You might be a redneck if your bar tab has page numbers.

You are a redneck if: you’ve ever dislodged a sunflower seed from the corner of your eye.

Gull – A young female. Hale – Where General Sherman went for what he did to Etlanna. Moanin – Between daybreak and noon. Motuhsickle – A two-wheeled missile with a powerful engine. Nekkid – To be unclothed. Ovair – In that direction. Own – Instead of awf. Phrasin – Very cold. Sebmup – Soft drink…

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These North Carolina, South Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists: 1. The season opened…

Q: How does a redneck take a bubble bath? A: He farts in a puddle

#1 rule of a redneck- If duck tape don’t fix it (doubt it), mount it on the wall instead.

While visiting a relative in Chicago, a University of Alabama student went to a party where he met a very attractive co-ed. Attempting to strike up a conversation with her, he asked, “Where does you go to school?” The co-ed, not at all impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, thought she would at least…

Billy Bob caught his friend Bubba searching high and low all around his living room. Billy Bob said, “What are you searching for?” Bubba replies, “Hidden cameras!” “And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?” says Billy Bob. Bubba said, “That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why, every…

You might be redneck if you’ve totaled every car you’ve owned.

Q:What do you call a 500 pound Russian that can bend you like a bendy straw? A:Sir

You think “Going the extra mile” means using toothpaste. You take a bar of soap to your local pool. Your dentures have fillings. Your idea of conservation is moving your Saturday night bath to every other Saturday night. Your wife has ever burnt out an electric razor. Your medical plan is not to get sick.