redneck

You might be a redneck if there is a four-wheeler parked in your bedroom.

You might be a redneck if when someone says: “Do you have any duct tape?” And you say: “I don’t have any ducks on tapes but I’ve got some on my wall.”

Why do the Arkansas cheerleaders wear bibs? To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can’t be fried in bacon grease, it ain’t worth cooking, let alone eating. 2. Just because one can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can’t stay home the two days of the year it snows. 3. If you do run your car into…

90 percent of people in Idaho say, “Oh shit!” when in a car wreck, The other ten percent say, “Hold my beer and watch this shit!”

You might be a redneck if… You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can’t remember how old your children are.

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name: (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Unemployed Spouse’s Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt…

If you name your kids after dead family pets you just might be a redneck!

You know you’re a redneck if you would rather your son have his own hunting show than become a doctor.

A redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don’t seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach…

40 Things Never Said By Southerners 40. Oh I just couldn’t. Hell, she’s only sixteen. 39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won’t fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken. 35. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 34.…

– Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch. – You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored. – You think the French Riviera is a foreign car. – You think you are an entrepreneur because of the “Dirt for Sale” sign in the front yard. – You’re still scalping tickets after the concert is…