redneck

You might be a redneck if… You are having marital problems because your wife never lets you win at arm wrestling.

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, ”If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, ”And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the…

You should have no doubt in your mind that you are in a redneck family….. When your uncle drunkenly approaches you, slaps you on the back, grabs your face and murmurs “Heaeh kiiiiiiid, I think it’s a good thing I used a condum. And walks off slowy, mumbling. “Cause your mamoo gets realy piiist when…

You are a redneck if: You think the following is funny You haven’t read the joke “You are a Redneck If… #900”.

You may be a redneck if your burglar alarm is a vacuum cleaner plugged into a motion detector.

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. “Well,” Bubba began, “We wuz havin’ a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, ‘Hey, der ya fellows wanna go huntin’?’” “And then what happened?” the officer interrupted. “From what I remember,” Bubba said,…

You’ve tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up. You name your car the General Lee. You see a sign that says “bridge out” and you try to jump it.

1. You know you’re a redneck when you go out with your girlfriend and you don’t realize she has her other boyfriend with her. 2. You know you’re a redneck when you use a barstool as a walker. 3. You know you’re a redneck when your mowing your lawn and you find a car. 4.…

Okay sooo.. I kinda stumbled across this “word” when I was actually at the sprint store with my x-boyfriend. He was talking about how he needed to get unlimited text messaging and I looked over with a very concerned look on my face and said, “Yardy Yar!” I believe everyone in the store was hysterical…

A detachment of paratroopers was practicing in a rural area. One jumper landed on the property of an old mountain man and his very large family. One of the kids saw the chute floating down and yelled out to his father, “Pa, bring your shotgun. The stork is bringing ’em full grown now!”

You might be a redneck if you think fast-food is hitting a dear at 65mph.

You are a redneck if: you’ve ever had to towel dry after a fart.