redneck

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in…

Managed to remember some MORE Redneck lines while hearing a couple more. You know you’re a redneck when: You lost your virginity at the age of 11. You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. Taking a dip has nothing to do with water. There are more than ten lawsuits currently…

“Hard drive” — Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer. “Keyboard” — 1. Place to hang your truck keys. 2. Whare you’re supposed to put da keys so da wife can find ’em. “Window” — Place in the truck to hang your guns. “Floppy”…

This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over. “You got any I.D.?” the patrolman asked. “‘Bout what?” the hillbilly replied.

1.Your tires cost more than your car. 2.You have a motor hanging out of your tree. 3.Your trailer house tires work but your car tires don’t. 5.You write the girl of your dreams name on the tower and then the sheriff makes you take your sisters name off of it. 6.You call your undies britches.…

Redneck Christmas Shopping You know you’re a redneck when… you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

You know you’re a redneck if you paint your garage with a paintball gun.

You are a redneck if: Your shotgun is named after your girlfriend.

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, “How about that!…

Battery Fucked Boodler’s ass hard and soft yesterday! Maybe zat explains z growth in z population recently!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

You might be a redneck if… You can talk for more than 20 minutes on the difference between squirrel and rabbit stew.

You might be a redneck if your limo at your wedding was a tractor and trailer.