redneck

A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But her father said “No way! You’re going to By-God West Virginia Univ.” Well, she got her way and she went to UVA. The first semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married, to a man from Richmond, VA…

Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder 1. The DNA is all the same. 2. There are no dental records.

You are a redneck if: you’ve ever searched for gold in your grandpa’s chest and had your fingers taken off by the booby trap within.

You might be a redneck if… The idea for the Budweiser frogs came from listening to you and your friends trying to read the label on the bottle.

Rainch – A big cow farm. Rat – Do it rat now! Rench – Rench the soap yourself. Roont – She plum roont her shoes. Salary – A stringy vegetable. Soardeens – Small canned fish. Shar – A light rain. Gully Worsher – A medium heavy rain. Toad strangler – A heavy rain Sody. Pop…

Your email address ends in “@over.yonder.com”. You have a bumper sticker on your truck that says “My other computer is a laptop”. You’ve ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone. Your spell checker knows words like, “Y’all”, “Yonder” and “Reckon”. You’ve ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set…

In a small southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town,…

You know you’re a redneck if your bathroom towels are also your bathroom curtains.

You might be a redneck if… You are having marital problems because your wife never lets you win at arm wrestling.

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, ”If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, ”And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the…

You should have no doubt in your mind that you are in a redneck family….. When your uncle drunkenly approaches you, slaps you on the back, grabs your face and murmurs “Heaeh kiiiiiiid, I think it’s a good thing I used a condum. And walks off slowy, mumbling. “Cause your mamoo gets realy piiist when…

You are a redneck if: You think the following is funny You haven’t read the joke “You are a Redneck If… #900”.