redneck

Signs you’re a redneck Jedi; -You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.” -Your Jedi robe is camouflage. -You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. -At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. -You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. -You…

If you met your wife on a hunting trip you just might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you think that “home security” means taking the front steps to your trailer with you when you leave the house.

You might be a redneck if… You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck? If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a “teethbrush”.

A redneck couple had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, the man took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel. The woman said to the bellman, “We refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air…

Two redneck airplane mechanics named Jim Bob and Jeb work at the Atlanta airport. Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Jim Bob and Jeb have nothing to do. After work Jim Bob and Jeb usally have a drink on their way home, so Jim Bob says to…

You are a redneck if: You’ve ever carved a gunstock out of a bedpost.

A man had just moved from his big apartment in NYC, to a big farm way out in the country side. Just days after he moved, he realized he was out of chicken feed, so he went down to the nearest store. (a good 2-hour drive away). “Can I get me some chicken feed?” the…

You Are A Redneck If: You light a match in your bathroom and it blows your house off its wheels!

You might be a redneck if… On stag night, you take a real deer. You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house. Your back porch is bigger than your house. There is more oil in your cap than in your car. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture. A full-grown ostrich…

Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-90. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, “Sarge, why’d you stop?” “You dumb rookie,” replied the Sarge. “He’s in Georgia…