redneck

You may be a redneck if your burglar alarm is a vacuum cleaner plugged into a motion detector.

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. “Well,” Bubba began, “We wuz havin’ a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, ‘Hey, der ya fellows wanna go huntin’?’” “And then what happened?” the officer interrupted. “From what I remember,” Bubba said,…

You’ve tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up. You name your car the General Lee. You see a sign that says “bridge out” and you try to jump it.

1. You know you’re a redneck when you go out with your girlfriend and you don’t realize she has her other boyfriend with her. 2. You know you’re a redneck when you use a barstool as a walker. 3. You know you’re a redneck when your mowing your lawn and you find a car. 4.…

Okay sooo.. I kinda stumbled across this “word” when I was actually at the sprint store with my x-boyfriend. He was talking about how he needed to get unlimited text messaging and I looked over with a very concerned look on my face and said, “Yardy Yar!” I believe everyone in the store was hysterical…

A detachment of paratroopers was practicing in a rural area. One jumper landed on the property of an old mountain man and his very large family. One of the kids saw the chute floating down and yelled out to his father, “Pa, bring your shotgun. The stork is bringing ’em full grown now!”

You might be a redneck if you think fast-food is hitting a dear at 65mph.

You are a redneck if: you’ve ever had to towel dry after a fart.

Wonder if you are a redneck….Well, if you have been married four times and still have the same in-laws you must be.

You are a redneck if: You like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk.

Did you here about the new redneck barbie doll? It comes with twelve kids, aids, and a welfare check.

You are a redneck if: you have a glass eye collection.