redneck

You might be a redneck if for your prom you wore a strapless dress but wore a bra that wasn’t.

You might be a redneck if… You’re 42 and still have clowns come to your birthday party.

How did the redneck die drinking milk? The cow sat on him!

You might be a redneck if both you and your wife wore ponytails on your wedding day.

There once was a redneck and his redneck wife. The wife didn’t want another child, and asked the redneck husband to get surgery so he can’t impregnate his wife. The redneck goes to a very expensive doctor. The doctor who is in a hurry and is sure the redneck can’t pay for his operation, just…

How do you know if you’re a redneck? If you go to a cousin’s wedding looking for a girlfriend.

Local cops know you by your nickname.

There were two guys from Alabama who love to fish, and they wanted to try some ice fishing. They’d heard about it up in Canada, and they took off for up there. The lakes were frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to a lake at a little bait shop and got all their…

You might be a redneck if at your wedding your tux has a sign on the back that says “sponsored by Bubba’s Chicken and Waffles!”

How do you know if a family tree is a redneck’s? The family tree goes straight down.

How to install a wireless security system: Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used work boots, a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it, a really big dish. Leave a note on…

Two hillbillies just come out of a divorce court. The ex-wife is crying her eyes out. Her ex-husband comes over and says: “There, there Missy, you’re still my sister!”