redneck

You are a redneck if: You’ve ever carved a gunstock out of a bedpost.

A man had just moved from his big apartment in NYC, to a big farm way out in the country side. Just days after he moved, he realized he was out of chicken feed, so he went down to the nearest store. (a good 2-hour drive away). “Can I get me some chicken feed?” the…

You Are A Redneck If: You light a match in your bathroom and it blows your house off its wheels!

You might be a redneck if… On stag night, you take a real deer. You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house. Your back porch is bigger than your house. There is more oil in your cap than in your car. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture. A full-grown ostrich…

Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-90. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, “Sarge, why’d you stop?” “You dumb rookie,” replied the Sarge. “He’s in Georgia…

Two good ole boys down in Alabama were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer…After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, “If’n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin’, and she got pregnant and had a baby,…

You might be a redneck if… You think the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.

You know you’re a Redneck if….. 1. Your child’s night-light is a neon beer sign. 2. The only running water in your house comes through the ceiling. 3. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. 4. All your kids toys came free with a Happy Meal. 5. When you fill your car with gas,…

You might be a redneck if you ride the electric floorbuffer and mistake it for your wife!!

You are a legal heir to a fireworks stand.

You might be a redneck if you were married in a laundromat.

You Just Might Be A Redneck If… You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.” You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, “Hey, y’all watch this!” You’ve got more than one…