redneck

You know you’re a redneck when your stair master has an ashtray!

Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone’s gonna lose a trailer.

This is a collection of a few of the Redneck lines I’ve heard (and can remember) over the years . . . You know you’re a redneck when: You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. Your wife weighs more than your refrigerator. Your shopping…

Aig – What a hen lays. Aints – He’s got aints in his paints. Paints – What cha put on your laigs of a morning. Arn – Ma’s tard of arnin. Bag – He bagged her to marry him. Bobbed – A bobbed wire fence. Bresh – He had a bresh with the law, and…

What did the farmer say when his truck disappeared? Where’s my truck?

One day there is a well-educated man sitting in a redneck bar reading a book. A Redneck happens to wander over to him and asks, “Whatcha there reading Mister?” The educated man replies, “It’s a book about logic”. Confused, the redneck replies “Logic? What’s logic?” The educated man explains to the man, “Logic is the…

You might be a redneck if… The lake has to be restocked after you take a bath.

Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, “Is it true they’re suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?” “Yes, Bubba, that is true.” “And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries … is that…

You are a redneck if: you’ve ever killed someone over a “kick me” sign.

You might be a redneck if your dad bought you a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for Christmas.

The Redneck Oil Change Checklist 1. Go to O’Reilly auto parts and write a check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree. 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O’Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard. 3. Open a…

You might be a redneck if you’ve ever videotaped a dog loving on someone’s leg.