religious

Why is it that when we talk to God we call it praying, yet when God talks to us we are schizophrenic? -Lily Tomlin

Two Hindu swamis were in conversation. One said to the other, “How did you like my latest book, ‘The Art of Levitation’?” His companion replied, “It kept me up all night.”

Two Rabbis argued late into the night about the existence of God, and, using strong arguments from the scriptures, ended up indisputably disproving His existence. The next day, one Rabbi was surprised to see the other walking into the Shul for morning services. “I thought we had agreed there was no God”, he said. “Yes,…

A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?” Steven raised his hand and…

A local church built a new sanctuary. They moved their very fine old pipe organ from to the new sanctuary. It was an intricate task that was completed successfully. The local news heralded, . . . “St. Paul Completes Organ Transplant.”

A few minutes before the church services start the parishioners are sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appears at the front of the church. Everyone starts screaming and running for the door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone is gone except for an elderly…

If Jesus was born on the computer age, he would just use the internet to spread his word unlike his time, he needs to journey across the world.

A preacher dies, and when he gets to Heaven, he sees a New York cab driver who has more crowns. He says to an angel, “I don’t get it. I devoted my whole life to my congregation.” The angel says, “We reward results. Did your congregation always pay attention when you gave a sermon?” The…

3 guys die in a car wreck and are sent to heaven. At the gates St. Peter asks the three men what they would want their families to say at the funeral. The first man says, “I want them to say I was an excellent husband and a great police officer.” The second man says,…

Delivering his speech at the opening banquet of a national convention, the visiting minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at meetings the next day. Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested that the reporters omit them from any accounts they might turn in to their newspapers. A cub reporter, in…

Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It’s called “Ministers Do More Than Lay People.”

Rabbi Zwi Chaim Yisroel, an Orthodox scholar of the Torah and a man who developed whining to an art unheard of in the West, was unanimously hailed as the wisest man of the Renaissance by his fellow Hebrews, who totaled a sixteenth of one per cent of the population. Once, while he was on his…