religious

“Please, God,” the man prayed, “you know me. I’m always praying to you, yet I’ve had nothing but bad luck, misery and despair. Look at the butcher next door. He’s never prayed in his life, and he enjoys prosperity, health and happiness. How come a believer like me is always in trouble, and he’s always…

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anyjoke tell me what it is?” One child blurted out, “Aces!”

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” says the priest. The trooper says, “Then why…

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible.…

One day Jesus was out for a walk, strolling near the walls surrounding heaven, when he heard an old man’s voice call from the other side. “Hello? Hello?” Jesus replied, “Who is it?” “Just a poor, old carpenter searching for his son,” the old man replied. Jesus’ heart leapt with joy and he called out,…

A guy goes in an adult book store and asks for an inflatable doll. Guy behind the counter says, “Male or female?” Customer says, “Female.” Counter guy asks, “Black or white?” Customer says, “White.” Counter guy asks, “Radical Christian or Muslim Extremist?” Customer says, “What the hell does religion have to do with it?” Counter…

Two people were at a bar resting when one said, “I wish I was God.” The other said, “Are you mad?” And the other says, “How could you say such a thing?” and the reply is, “I don’t want to have to lose all of Buddha’s fat!”

A couple preparing for a religious conversion meets with the orthodox rabbi for their final session. The rabbi asks if they have any final questions. The man asks, “Is it true that men and women don’t dance together?” “Yes,” says the rabbi, “For modesty reasons, men and women dance separately.” “So I can’t dance with…

A Rabbi was walking home from the Temple and a pious and learned man who could usually beat the rabbi in religious arguments. The rabbi started walking faster so that he could catch up to his friend, when he was horrified to see his friend go into a Chinese restaurant (not a kosher one). Standing…

During the Irish Potato famine, a young Irish-Catholic woman was worried about the poverty of her family. She told her parents that she was going to America to seek her fortune. With many tears, they let her go. Years passed, and the woman returned home. She arrived in a private jet, dressed in a gorgeous…

A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the rabbi asked; “How come after all these years we don’t see you at…

A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a park talking. A young boy walks by, the priest says “Hey, you want to screw him?” and the rabbi says “Out of what?”