religious

One day, God was talking to St. Peter. God said, “I am not very happy with all the sinners in the world. I should send a letter to each of them and tell them what they are doing wrong and they must stop, or they will not come to Heaven when they die.” “I have…

Jesus walks into an inn puts 3 nails on the counter and asks, “Can you put me up for the night?”

A minister told his friend Rabbi Goldman, “Last night, I dreamed of the Jewish Heaven. It was a slum, and it was overflowing with people — running, playing, talking, sitting — doing all sorts of things. But the dream, and the noise, was so terrific that I woke up.” The rabbi said, “Really? Last night,…

A teacher asked her children just before they were about to leave class for Mass, “And why is it necessary to be quiet during Mass?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, “They couldn’t get a baby-sitter.”

On the appointed day, St. Peter escorted John to the Holy Mother’s sanctuary. John went before Her, knelt, and said: “Holy Mother, I’ve always looked to You for guidance, and You have granted me peace and serenity through some difficult times. But I have one question that has nagged me during my whole time on…

The Pope, Billy Graham and Oral Roberts were in a fatal three-way car crash and all went to Heaven together. “Oh, this is awful,” exclaimed St. Peter. “I know you must think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those strange coincidences that happen. We weren’t expecting you, so your quarters aren’t…

Why was the cemetary so crowded? Everyone was dying to get in!!!!

Thanks for having me. I was excited to come back to Calvin, and I was just telling Laura the other night about what fun it would be to come to Calvin College. I said, you know, Laura, I love being around so many young folks. You know, it gives me a chance to relive my…

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader. “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab…

A Baptist preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, “I’d rather be tied…

A young woman, flying home after Christmas, asked the priest sitting beside her if he would help her. “I will assist you if I can; what seems to be the problem?” he asked. The young woman said, “I have a very expensive, top of the range hairdryer which my mother gave me for Christmas; it…