religious

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, the two…

After the assassination of Tsar Alexander II of Russia, a government official in Ukraine menacingly addressed the local rabbi, “I suppose you know in full detail who was behind it.” “Ach,” the rabbi replied, “I have no idea, but the government’s conclusion will be the same as always: they will blame the Jews and the…

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air; then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God!…

“Sarah, how’s that boy of yours?” “David? Ach, don’t ask – he’s living in Miami with a man named Miguel” “That’s terrible!” “I know – why couldn’t he find a nice Jewish boy?”

A man walked into the ladies department of a store and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.” “What type of bra?” asked the clerk. “Type?” inquires the man, “There is more than one type?” “Look around,” said the saleslady, as she…

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of…

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson; “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’” Kevin turned to…

On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: Let’s see the evolutionists try and figure this one out.

A rabbi and a Catholic priest are having lunch in a restaurant. The priest’s food arrives, a scrumptious-looking ham entrée. The priest attacks his lunch, savouring every bite of the ham. Noticing the rabbi eyeing him, he asks, “So tell me, Rabbi Goldblum, have you ever had any pork before?” The rabbi hesitates. “Well, it’s…

A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy’s name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, “I’m sorry, I don’t see your name written in the Book.” “How current…

Both of the following men have cheated on their wives and have decided to take it to the Lord. One is a gangster and one is a Christian. This is their prayers…. Christian husband: Dear Father Son and Holy Ghost, I have sinned and am so sorry. I cheated on my wife with her best…

One day a priest had a doctor’s appointment and needed someone to cover for him at the confessional, so he calls over an old school chum of his who happens to be a rabbi. The rabbi had no idea what to do but agreed to cover for the priest. The priest needed to show the…