religious

Mrs. O’Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O’Rafferty. “Hello,” said the Father, “And how is Mr. O’Donovan? Didn’t I marry you two years ago?” She replied, “You did that, Father.” “And are there any little ones yet?” “No, not yet, Father,” she said “Well now,…

A blonde was telling her priest a Polack joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, “Don’t you know I’m Polish?” “Oh, I’m sorry,” the blonde apologizes, “do you want me to start over and talk slower?”

A Unitarian Universalist walks into a fabric store and asks the clerk for nine yards of material. The clerk asks, “What are you going to make?” The UU says, “I’m making a nightgown for myself as a present for my husband.” The clerk says, “But nine yards is way too much material for a nightgown.”…

During the days of oppression and poverty of the Russian shtetls, one village had a rumour going around: a Christian girl was found murdered near their village. Fearing a pogrom, they gathered at the synagogue. Suddenly, the rabbi came running up, and cried, “Wonderful news! The murdered girl was Jewish!”

There are 3 religious truths: Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian Faith Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters

Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction. “Quick, man,” he whispered to the waiter, “what did they say?” “Nothing,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.”

Sarah’s grandson is playing in the water, while she is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the boy is in the ocean. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there.…

Johnny was walking down the street pulling his wagon when he stubbed his toe. He was swearing like crazy when a priest comes up to him and says “Johnny, I wouldn’t say such things, God is everywhere.” Intrigued by the priest’s comment, he questions the priest. “Is God over there?” he says pointing to a…

Two young met while studying in seminary, Matthew Anderson and Anthony Sicola. They become great friends, but also become very competitive between each other. They both graduate #1 and #2 in their class, with Anthony being #1 and Matthew being #2. They then both go to their new parishes, which instantly become hugely popular. For…

This is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath eve, announced to his congregation that he would not renew his contract. He explained that he must move on to a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush; no one wanted him to leave. Sol Epstein, who owned several…

A Little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.” The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have…

A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asked, “Reverend, you’re a man of God, can’t you do something about this storm?” To which he replied, “Lady, I’m…