religious

The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase, “Tuti Homini” – Blessed be Mankind. A women’s rights group approached the Pope the next day. They noticed that the pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind. The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, “Tuti Homini, et Tuti…

An old Armenian is on his deathbed: “My children, remember to defend the Jews.” “Why Jews?” “Because if they are gone, we will be next.”

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

A bishop, a priest, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this, a joke?”

There were two groups of people. The first one was of a taxi driver who was driving at a high speed that all the passengers knelt and prayed. The second was of a priest who was preaching but boring the people to the extent that they started walking out. WHO BROUGHT PEOPLE CLOSER TO GOD?…

One day a group of eminent scientists got together and decided that mankind had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that we no longer nee…

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.” A bit later, they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the…

A man died and went to heaven, he went to the golden gates, and saw God. He didn’t know who God was, so he took one look and said, “My god, Who the hell are you?”

A man dies and goes to hell. When he arrives Satan gives him a choice of what eternal punishment he’ll be given. They go to a wall with 3 doors. Satan opens the first door and there are people standing on their heads on blocks of ice. The man says, “No way, I cant do…

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, “I’d give anything to sink this next putt.” A stranger walks up to him and whispers, “Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?” The golfer thinks the man is…

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, “You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?” The driver is understandably hesitant and says, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m supposed…

There are four people on a plane. a guy from england, a guy from france, a guy from texas, and a guy from mexico, all of a sudden the plane starts falling out of the sky. The pilot says “We a losing altitude we need to get rid of some weight. So they throw everything…