religious

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside: The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” My friend…

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out, so he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, “Yes,…

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of sudden, he said out loud, “Lord grant me one wish.” Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me always, I will grant you one wish.” The…

10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 am. 9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets. 8. Shows up at barn raisings in full ‘KISS’ makeup. 7. When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou sucketh.” 6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.” 5. Defiantly says, “If…

This husband and wife couldn’t have any children, so they went to the pastor and asked for prayer. The pastor prayed for them and annointed them with oil. Sure enough, about 9 months later they had triplet babies. The couple once again showed up at the pastor’s study and as soon as the woman saw…

A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the Pope. There he stood, in a big long line with a rather expensive suit on, hoping the Pope would notice how smart he was and perhaps talk a few words with him. As the Pope made his way slowly down the…

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered through the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other…

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card and wrote on the…

Our house, in the middle of my feet, Our house, which smells of cheesy feet, Our house, will always get defeat, Our house, will never eat those feet. That was a song I made up ha!!!!!! ha!!!!!! ha!!!!!! ha!!!!!!!

Once there was a large group of mexicans who made a club called the I love Mayonnaise Club. And they made this club days before the titanic set sail. And on the titanic there was a large, large case of mayonnaise. And later when the titanic sank, this group was very sad so they formed…

Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but then she was called to her reward. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said “Hold on, Sister Margaret, not so fast!” “But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the Lord. From the time I was…