sport

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it…

Press Release Scare At Adelaide F.C. (Football Club) Headquarters Training at West Lakes was delayed nearly two hours late this morning, after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the ground. Initially the Club thought it was a prank! Team manager Neil Craig immediately suspended training, while police and the ASIO (Australia…

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him…

A father watched his young son practice baseball in the backyard by throwing the ball up and swinging at it. Time and time again the bat missed contact. The boy noticed his father watching, and said, “Wow, Dad! Aren’t I a great pitcher?”

A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he met a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, “Only caught one, eh?”

“My friend,” said St. Peter to the recently deceased, “you did lead an exemplary life on earth – but there is one instance of your taking the name of The Lord in vain. Would you care to tell us about it?” “I recall,” replied the new applicant, “it was in 1965 on the last hole…

A blonde, a red head and a brunette are all skateboarding and bragging about their best tricks. The brunette says, “I can do a double impossible and a misty.” The red head says, “Thats nothing. I can do a 1080 flip off a quarter pipe, then do a double double and land it without falling”.…

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season…”I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.” Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships: “I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.” Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous…

Why were the police at the baseball game? Because someone stole second base!

Q: Did you hear the joke about the jump rope? A: No, I skipped it!

Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!

20. The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it. 19. He came at his blind side and got him from behind. 18. He’s off to the sidelines for a quick blow. 17. It’s a game of inches. 16. That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it. 15. When you…