sport

  • Olympic Games

    A runner going to participate in the Olympic games had a dream, that he was driving a quadriga. Early in the morning he goes to a fortune-teller for explanation of the dream. The reply is: -You will win, that meant the speed and the strength of the horses. But, to be sure about this, the…

  • Female Golf Terms

    1. CADDY — 2 women talking about a 3rd who isn’t there to defend herself. 2. CHIPPING — Time to get our nails done again. 3. DOUBLE BOGIE — “Casablanca” followed by “African Queen.” 4. FAIRWAY — Splitting the bill when the girls go to lunch. 5. GOOD LIE — Weight on our driver’s license.…

  • Joy of Golf

    Did you know in 1923, the following men were considered some of the world’s most successful men . . . at least they found the secret of making money. Whereas, in 1987, more than 60 yrs. later, do you know what became of these men? The president of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died…

  • The Only Way to Fish

    An old country boy pulls up to a bait shop with a stringer full of fish. A man, noticing the stringer, asks him where he caught all the fish. He said he was going fishing again, tomorrow, and if the guy wanted to come with him he’d show him where he caught the fish. The…

  • Fruit Roll Up

    I was eating a fruit rollup once, you know, with the paper on the bottom…well the instructions were “Do not eat paper.” Noooo! I thought the paper was part of the snack!!

  • Fishing Lure

    A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his…

  • Super Bowl

    A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20 pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only…

  • Handicap

    He was a smooth operator, and at the club’s annual dance he attached himself to the prettiest lady golfer in the room and was boasting to her. “You know, they’re all afraid to play me. What do you think my handicap is?” “Well, where do you want me to start ?” came the quick response.

  • sportmen Quotes II

    1971. Tom Workman, former NBA-ABA basketball player: “They tell you to join the NBA and see all the big cities: New York with all the lights, San Francisco with its nightlife, San Diego’s sunshine. They also say join the ABA and see the U.S.A. Unfortunately, I found this included Steubenville, Ohio; Amarillo, Texas; Elko, Nevada;…

  • You Lost It HOW?

    A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!” The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?” “It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose…

  • War Zone

    Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Oakland Raiders team for ’98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn’t find a quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win. Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war…

  • Gotcha

    The worst (and wealthiest) member of Augusta approached Ben Crenshaw after the Master’s Tournament. He challenged him to a match – double or nothing the prize money he had just one. Crenshaw was hesitant but, hey, who doesn’t need more money, right? To make it fair he offered the guy any handicap he wanted. The…