sport

An old country boy pulls up to a bait shop with a stringer full of fish. A man, noticing the stringer, asks him where he caught all the fish. He said he was going fishing again, tomorrow, and if the guy wanted to come with him he’d show him where he caught the fish. The…

I was eating a fruit rollup once, you know, with the paper on the bottom…well the instructions were “Do not eat paper.” Noooo! I thought the paper was part of the snack!!

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his…

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20 pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only…

He was a smooth operator, and at the club’s annual dance he attached himself to the prettiest lady golfer in the room and was boasting to her. “You know, they’re all afraid to play me. What do you think my handicap is?” “Well, where do you want me to start ?” came the quick response.

1971. Tom Workman, former NBA-ABA basketball player: “They tell you to join the NBA and see all the big cities: New York with all the lights, San Francisco with its nightlife, San Diego’s sunshine. They also say join the ABA and see the U.S.A. Unfortunately, I found this included Steubenville, Ohio; Amarillo, Texas; Elko, Nevada;…

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!” The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?” “It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose…

Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Oakland Raiders team for ’98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn’t find a quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win. Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war…

The worst (and wealthiest) member of Augusta approached Ben Crenshaw after the Master’s Tournament. He challenged him to a match – double or nothing the prize money he had just one. Crenshaw was hesitant but, hey, who doesn’t need more money, right? To make it fair he offered the guy any handicap he wanted. The…

Two boys are playing football at this park in a small town in South Carolina when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog’s collar, twists it, and breaks the dog’s neck, thus saving his friend. A sport…

“I’ll go and ask if we can go through,” said Max to Jerry. The two golfers had been concerned for some time at the snail-like progress of two women, originally some holes ahead and now just in front of them on the ninth fairway. Max returned after only a few paces towards the ladies. “Jerry,…

Stupid Things Said In The World Of Soccer: 1. Well, it’s Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I’ve got to fancy Liverpool for the win. 2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long. 3. And so they have not been able to improve on their…