tech

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I create a…

This was set up by Google as a joke. Enjoy! Please do the following: 1. Open Google. 2. Type, “french military victories”. 3. Click: I’m Feeling Lucky. 4. Enjoy!

I want to kick the guy who invented the snooze button…then five minutes later, I’ll kick him again. Thanks Andrew!

And so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in…

What’s purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.

A pilot’s flying a small, single-engined charter plane with a couple of really important execs on board. He’s coming into Seattle airport, only there is thick fog, less than 10ft of visibility, and his instruments are out. So he circles around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he’s pretty low on fuel…

I was sitting in chat room, Feeling mildly amused, When I saw something strange, That left me all confused. Someone typed a word, (As far as I could tell) But I had never seen it. What is an LOL? Then the plot got thicker, More words I didn’t know, A person started typing, The word…

Have you ever had those days when your computer fucking sucks? Now you have a poem to say! I’m gonna get some Coke and a snack, This should be FUCKING WORKING by the time I get back.

Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yesterday the introduction of a new product for Windows 95: Microsoft Panhandler. “The idea came to me the other day when a homeless man asked me for money,” recalls Gates. “I suddenly realized that we were missing a golden opportunity. Here was a chance…

Recently the following undocumented Windows 98 error-codes were found. Microsoft forgot to explain them in the manuals, so they will be spread via the Internet: WinErr: 001 Windows loaded – System in danger WinErr: 002 No Error – Yet WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error – Your mistake is now in every file WinErr: 004 Erroneous…

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: SYSTEM’S ADMINISTRATOR SUBJECT: WARNING! C-NILE VIRUS … MUST READ: Just learned about this from a reliable source. It seems that there is a computer virus out there called the “C-Nile Virus” that even the most advanced programs from Norton cannot take care of, so be warned. It appears to affect those…

Is your computer male of female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes”, or “She’s listing to starboard, Captain!” Recently a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusions follow:…