tech
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Douglas Adams on Windows95
in JokesBeyond the Hype (Guardian, August 25, 1995) Douglas Adams, author of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, argues Windows 95 does not cross any frontiers. What on Earth is going on? Have we found intelligent life on other planets? Abolished war and famine? Found Elvis? Have we even devised a new and better way of…
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Mouse Balls
in JokesThis apparently was a real memo sent at a computer company to its employees in all seriousness. This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor. “Mouse Balls” Mouse balls are…
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Pick-up Lines For Computer Geeks
in Jokes– Nice Set of Floppies! – Hey, how ’bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU. – I’d like to play on your laptop. – Need me to unzip your files? – If you were an ISP, I’d dial you all day long! – I’d like to boot up your PC! –…
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It’s Time to Turn Your Computer Off When…
in Jokes– You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your E-mail on the way back to bed. – You name your children Eudora, AOL and dotcom. – You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved…
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The Tech Support Blues
in JokesTech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.” Customer: “OK.” Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?” Customer: “No.” Tech Support: “OK. Right-click again. So you see a pop-up menu?” Customer: “No.” Tech Support: “OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?” Customer: “Sure. You…
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What We Learn from Movies 2
in Jokes1. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 2. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her. 3. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 4. All…
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Failed Brakes
in JokesAn engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were on their way to a tech conference on the other side of the mountains. Half way down the other side, the brakes gave out, and the engineer steered for all his life to keep the car from going clean off the edge. It was at the…
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Oh, My, God
in JokesTech Support Just in case you think you are TC (technologically challenged). The following is an excerpt taken from a Wall Street Journal article: 1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had…
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Etch-A-Sketch Tech Support
in JokesQ: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I create a…
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Google Trick
in JokesThis was set up by Google as a joke. Enjoy! Please do the following: 1. Open Google. 2. Type, “french military victories”. 3. Click: I’m Feeling Lucky. 4. Enjoy!
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Who Invented the Snooze Button?
in JokesI want to kick the guy who invented the snooze button…then five minutes later, I’ll kick him again. Thanks Andrew!
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Great Bird
in JokesAnd so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in…