tech

If you messed up your life, you could press “Ctrl, Alt, Delete” and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on “run”! If you needed a break from life, click on “suspend”. Hit “any key” to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To…

THIS IS A TRUE STORY!!! My cousin works as a technical support receptionist at a computer company. This is an actual conversation he had one day: “Hi, I’m having trouble with my computer. It’s not working!” “Well, I’ll do my best to help you.” *gets technical information for computer from caller* “OK, can you press…

Tech Support: “All right. Now click ‘OK’.” Customer: “Click ‘OK’?” Tech Support: “Yes, click ‘OK’.” Customer: “Click ‘OK’?” Tech Support: “That’s right. Click ‘OK’.” Customer: “So I click ‘OK’, right?” Tech Support: “Right. Click ‘OK’.” Pause. Customer: “I clicked ‘Cancel’.” Tech Support: “YOU CLICKED ‘CANCEL’???” Customer: “That’s what I was supposed to do, right?” Tech…

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, “Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?” I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on. “Do you…

How is a computer like an air conditioner? When you open Windows it won’t work!

If Oracle made toasters… They’d claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home, you’d discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away, and that, indeed, the whole appliance was just blowing smoke. If Hewlett-Packard made toasters… They would…

How did the person take over the remote? He asked for remote CONTROLS!

“One day a friend of mine called me up to tell me he was thinking of buying a computer. This guy is particularly sensitive to criticism and not exactly in the upper echelon of the IQ range, and personally I don’t think he should own a programmable VCR much less a computer, but he’s a…

10. Lower corner of screen has the words “Etch-a-sketch” on it. 9. Its celebrity spokesman is that “Hey Vern!” guy. 8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend’s car. 7. Its slogan is “Pentium: redefining mathematics”. 6. The “quick reference” manual is 120 pages long. 5. Whenever you turn…

The best way to accelerate Windows is through one.

Are the Wocka ads annoying you? This is an updated version to tell you how to block them. It might take too long for you to reach the 5000 point milestone and therefore automatically get rid of the ads. If they do annoy you, here’s a way to remove them: 1. Open “my computer”, locate…

Register lots of accounts, with each account voting for it as least comedy. If its average comedy drops below 0.5, it will be automatically deleted.