“Two tone paint work” – Original color and rust.
“One careful owner” – But the other nine were clumsy as anything.
“10,000 trouble-free miles” – Crashed in the last 20 feet.
“Heated rear window” – So you don’t get cold hands when push-starting the thing in winter.
“Very clean” – Only washed if and when it rains.
“Lady owner” – The glove box is full of half-used cosmetics.
“Clean interior” – All the rubbish is under the floormats.
“Immobilizer” – The gear shift comes off in your hand.
“Anti-theft device” – I can let you have a Rottweiler cheap.
“Drives beautifully” – … in a straight line; the steering is all over the place.
“Low mileage” – The odometer is on its third time around.
“Full service history” – Charlie in the garage round the corner checked it over last week.
“Economical” – Doesn’t use much fuel, as it can’t go any faster than 30 mph.