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One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even though the beach was a non-nude beach. But the man thought and thought looking around. Nojoke is here so he doesn’t care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to cover his privates just in case. Soon…

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous. 4.…

#1 At a Gift shop Counter ‘”My One and only” Valentine cards, Is now available in Multi-packs!!’ #2 At a Washing Machine in a Washers ‘When Finished, Please Remove Pants’ #3 At a Handdryer in a Toilet ‘Warning: Please do not operate this machine with wet hands!’ #4 At a Highway beside a river ‘Warning:…

If we decide to change our privacy policy, we will post those changes on this page so our users are always aware of what information we collect, how we use it, and under what circumstances, if any, we disclose it. We will always use information in accordance with the privacy policy under which the information…

Guy: I’m having a problem with it. Girl: That’s not surprising, it’s very hard when you first learn. Guy: It’s not working. I can’t get it up. Girl: You just have to relax. It’ll happen. You just have to work at it. Guy: Alright, I’m supposed to do what with my tongue again?? Girl: Your…

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and…

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your…

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control. 2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children. 3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 4. Gay marriage will…

We’re here on the airport, where a group of people have just arrived after being stranded on an island for more than a year.

What’s black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

What do you call a mouth without any teeth?- Grandma

what’s the difference between here and there? The letter T! 🙂 (Take away the T in there and you’ve got here!)