Idiot Lawyers

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q: Did he kill you?

Lawyer: Were you alone or by yourself?

Lawyer: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Lawyer: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Lawyer: You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Lawyer: Have you lived in this town all your life?
Witness: Not yet.

Lawyer: A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”