Save the trees – wipe your arse with an owl.
“My point-and-click interface is an Uzi submachine gun.”
Saint Michael – patron saint of underpants
I’m an apathetic sociopath – I’d kill you if I cared.
I’m completely sane, according to the voices in my head.
My wife’s an earth sign. I’m a water sign. Together we make mud.
Skiing is for people who can’t just break their legs around the house.
Penguins mate for life. That doesn’t surprise me much cos they all look alike.
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever!
If I were a recovering s*x addict, I’d opt for group therapy.
“I hope I never do anything to bring shame on myself, my family or my other family.”
“Secret”: Something you tell to one person at a time.
“Tomorrow”: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, he sings.
My short-term memory ain’t what it something something.
I am an I/O Error.