I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
If I save time, when do I get it back?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight.
I’m really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Smile. It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
If the left side of the brain controls the right hand, then only left-handed people are in their right mind.
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
All men are animals; some just make better pets.
T-Shirt Messages II
in Jokes